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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: The Final Chapter

Greg — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 15:37:04 +0000

What a fast week. I'm not even exhausted. That's weird. I did lose about 15lbs just by eating better, so that's a plus. Wait a minute... eating healthy for a week makes you good, but eating pizza and donuts for a week makes you feel tired. I think I may have stumbled across something here... One final film at TIFF: Machine Gun Preacher starring Gerald Butler. It's the true story of Sam Childers, a biker who found religion and turned his life around by becoming a crusader for hundreds of Sudanese child soldiers. Movie starts out with Sam getting released from prison and getting back into his old routine: drinking, shooting heroin, robbery and even the murder of a 'dirty Indian' as described in the film. Sadly, I laughed at that because my buddy Steve is part native and we all call him 'Chief'. He's cool with it so you should be too. Follow him on Twitter while you're at it - @saysSteve. He likes sports. Anyway, the murder puts Sam over the edge and he starts going to church with his wife, mother and daughter. He gets inspired by the sermon of a guest preacher who spoke of the Sudan and Sam decides to check it out. Stunned by all of the senseless bloodshed, Sam returns back to the U.S. with a plan to build a home in the Sudan for all of the war torn children. At times, the movie became waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over dramatic and it was tough to imagine Gerald Butler spreading the word of the Lord, but overall is it was decent. So, that's it. Year 16 at TIFF is over. I sold my extra vouchers for $30 to some people in the rush line and packed up my stuff and headed back to good ol' Hamilton. I'm not going to go into detail about the Ti-Cats game cause they were shit, but on the bright side I did get two free Kevin Glenn (he's the quarterback) bobbleheads! Best moment of the week: Seeing a bar downtown with a huge neon sign that said 'COCKTAILS' but TAILS was burnt out and then noticing that the bar was called the Ballroom. Hehehe...genitals. Top 5 at TIFF in no particular order:

Pearl Jam Twenty
Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory
Into the Abyss
Dark Horse
The Raid

Thanks to my bro, Kris, and the Snows for the accommodations this week. Thanks for reading.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 8

Greg — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:07:32 +0000

TIFF is really starting to wind down quickly. Second last day. By the way, I should note that I'm currently writing this report on an iPad. These things are amazing. Thanks Apple! I also have to mention that the iPad belongs to Shaun and Nicole Snow. They let me stay at their place Thursday night after the excellent Pearl Jam concert in Hamilton. Their cat Charlie puked on the carpet before we came home. I wonder if he knew I was coming and wanted to give me a welcome gift. Nice cat. Missing half an ear. He grew up tough apparently. When I asked to use the iPad, Shaun got all weird. Apparently, he uses it to play the sounds of the ocean to help him sleep. I bet he didn't think I'd blog about it. Just one film today. Trepass starring Nick Cage and directed by Joel Schumacher. I realize now after typing it out that this had disaster written all over it. Cage plays Kyle, a real estate salesman. He's married to housewife Sarah, played by Nicole Kidman. They have a teenaged girl, Avery, played by Random Teen. On a night where Avery sneaks out a group of armed thieves break into Kyle and Sarah's home to try and steal cash and diamonds that they think is in Kyle's safe. They are held at gunpoint and this is where Cage's character starts getting weird. He pokes holes in the thieves' plans and even tries to go into business with them. There are a few twists and turns, but most of this film is a little too predictable. I headed back to Hamilton for the night to go see Pearl Jam again. Another great show with a couple of surprises. A cover of The Stooges Search & Destroy and the show was also attended by retired WWE great, the Rated R Superstar, Edge. Easy to spot that guy in crowd. Shook his hand and let him go about his business. One more film left at TIFF 2011 on Friday followed by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats hosting the Edmonton Eskimos in great CFL action. Christ, this week went fast.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 7

Greg — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:56:45 +0000

Remember how I said that Killer Joe was the worst thing I'd seen at TIFF? I stand corrected. Just one film today and it was a doozy. The Moth Diaries, directed by Mary Harron. Harron is Canadian and directed the quite excellent American Psycho, so I decided to give this one a shot. Teenaged Rebecca is back at her all-female boarding school for her final year with her best friend Lucy. At least two years prior (the film isn't clear) her father committed suicide. There's a new girl at the school named Ernessa and slowly but surely she comes between Rebecca and Lucy. There's a lot of weird things about Ernessa and although Rebecca doesn't say it, she thinks Ernessa could be a vampire. Oh for fuck's sake. This film has every single teen movie cliche there is. 1) Teenaged girls are retarded and that's insulting to people who actually are mentally handicapped. 2) If there's an all-female boarding school at least two of the girls are going to explore each other and fuck. 3) If there's a male teacher (there is), he's good looking (Scott Speedman) and he's going to kiss and fondle one of the young girls (he does). Does it have teen vampire movie cliches? You bet your ass it does. 1) No one ever believes the girl that knows the truth. 2) Teen girls somehow know a good way to kill a vampire. 3) No one else puts two and two together: Everything is fine, new girl shows up, people start dying. Lame. We get cheesy flashbacks of her dead father. He offed himself two years ago and now she's having trouble with it? Convenient. My favourite part was Rebecca seeing herself in a dream hugging her father, so she smiles. When her father lets go...it's not her he's hugging! It's Ernessa! O.M.G!! How uninspiring and how unoriginal can you get? This movie is absolutely ridiculous. What a waste of time. Met up with my BFF Emma for salads (I know) and then off to Uproar for her birthday. Caught the 4 main stage bands. Bullet For My Valentine: Pretty good. Seether: Pretty lame. Three Days Grace: Very good and enjoyed the Eminem cover. Avenged Sevenfold: Awesome, but they need a real drummer. After the Rev and Mike Portnoy, everything else has been disappointing. Emma had a blast and really that's all that matters. Tomorrow: Two films, including one with Nick Cage. Also, for a second time...Pearl Jam!

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 6

Greg — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 17:33:47 +0000

Three films Tuesday so let's get right into it. Killer Joe, directed by William Friedkin. This is the same guy that directed The French Connection and The Exorcist. He may have had a few clunkers in recent history, but I had some hopes for this. Emile Hirsch plays a kid in Texas who owes a lot of money to the wrong people. With the help of his father and step-mother, he hires a crooked cop played by Matthew McConaughey to kill his mother for the insurance money. Since he planned on paying the cop after he gets the insurance money, McConaughey asks for Hirsch's teenage sister as a retainer. I didn't hate this movie, but it's probably the worst film I've seen so far this year. 90 seconds into the movie is a centre screen shot of Gina Gershon's hairy muff. Some people might like that. Some people might find that revolting. I'm sure many of you are upset that you had to read that. I had to see it. Now, don't get me wrong, Gina Gershon is an attractive woman, but in a dirty trailer park setting it just didn't do it for me. Call me crazy. To be honest, I liked the set up to the film, but McConaughy just ruins everything for me. He bugs me. Emile takes some very good ass kickings in the film as well. He should have been an extra in The Raid. Thomas Haden Church plays Hirsch's dad and he's pretty funny watching Gina Gershon perform fellatio a piece of KFC. I wish I was making that up. The films ends in a shoot out and has one of the most disappointing cliff hanger endings ever. However, it's not the film makers fault as this was based on a play. If Gina Gershon gets your blood pumping then you might want to check this movie out. If you want to see Matthew McConaughy seduce an underage girl then you might want to check this movie out. If you want to see Emile Hirsch get his face caved in by a can of stewed tomatoes then you might want to check this movie out. If you answered yes to any of those, then go for it. If not, feel comfortable in skipping it. On the bright side, I convinced the Ryerson TIFF volunteers to open up the balcony just for me because there weren't any quality seats left. Also, I can talk anybody into doing anything. I went to Subway for lunch (6 inch turkey on whole wheat, no cheese, vegetables and mustard) and I had to repeatedly ask the girl for black olives. She just kept staring over my right shoulder. I finally turned and saw Geoffrey Rush standing beside me. You know...the guy from the Pirates movies and The King's Speech? I'm not sure if he was getting a sandwich or had just been stopped by autograph seekers, but there he was causing me black olive troubles. My next film was a documentary called Undefeated. It was basically a real life Friday Night Lights. Troubled high school football program in Tennessee finally puts it all together. I love sports movies. I love sports dramas. I really love sports documentaries. Obviously, with most of these there's a ton of emotion and suspense. The coach is great guy who volunteers his time and the players are a group of straight out of a movie African American kids. You have a smart one, a big dumb one, an angry hot head....it was perfect. My only issue is with the filmmakers themselves. The editing was terrible. They showed a blocked extra point in one piece of game footage to make the score 21-20 and when they cut to the score board, it was the wrong quarter and the score was 21-21. At another point, the team faced a desperate 3rd and 10, but when they cut back to the score clock it was the wrong quarter (again) and it showed 1st and 10. You may think it's a minor complaint, but this is a sports documentary that follows a football team. The game footage needs to be accurate. The last film I had was Hard Core Logo II, directed by Bruce McDonald. For those of you who have never seen or heard of Hard Core Logo, it just happens to be my favourite Canadian film. The original movie was a fictional rock documentary about a punk band called Hard Core Logo and it starred Hugh Dillon from the Headstones (you can see him now on the shows Durham County and Flashpoint). The end of the original is a definitive end to the story to say the least, so I was curious about how a sequel would happen. We pick up with the fictional director of the first film, played by McDonald himself, living in Hollywood and directing a successful cable television show. At the same time that his show gets cancelled he hears that the lead singer of the band Die Mannequin has been possessed by the spirit of Joe Dick, the lead singer of Hard Core Logo. Bruce heads off to meet the singer named Care Failure and decides to film another rock documentary. There are some funny parts and the music is decent and overall it was fun to watch. If you've seen and liked HCL then you should definitely check it out. Only one film Wednesday then off to the Uproar Festival to see Avenged Sevenfold.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 5

Greg — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 03:02:44 +0000

Just a short update today as I only had one TIFF screening, but I did have a concert in the evening. I had a documentary today called The Last Dogs of Winter. On my way up the escalator a lady in her fifties took a header at the top and did a hardcore face plant on the tiled floor. I probably shouldn`t have laughed, but I totally did. Hey, I waited until I had stepped on to the next escalator and there were already people helping her. Jeez, I`m not an animal. People falling down is funny to me. I even laugh when I fall down because it`s funny. I know which of you who agree and those that are ashamed to know me right now. Still funny. Before the show started I was recognized by a Film Junk fan. Yeah, I`m a little famous because of the podcast. No big deal. In all seriousness, it`s really cool to meet people who listen to the show. I had two dudes from Finland earlier this year come to my store in Hamilton just to say hi as they were on their way from Toronto to NYC. That`s pretty awesome. So... The Last Dogs of Winter, this is third documentary with the word last in it. Apparently, I love conclusions. For those of you who live in Canada, you know what a Canadian Eskimo dog is. A breed of dog that lived in the far northern parts of Canada that aided the Inuit in everything the did. They worked like horses. In the 1950`s the breed totaled about 25,000, by 1970 less than 100 remained. Apparently, the government tried to get the Inuit to move into communities because it was safer, so they started killing their dogs. Nice. This film is about a man named Caleb Ross, a young New Zealander who moved to Canada to be with his girlfriend and when that went south, he took a job waaaaaay up in Churchill, Manitoba working with Brian Ladoon, a kooky individual who has made it his goal to save the breed and the dogs now number over 400. The film chronicles how he takes care of so many dogs and although, it seems unconventional to regular dog owners, all of the dogs are happy and healthy. 6 weeks out of the year, the polar bears migrate right along Churchill and it was amazing to see full grown polar bears playing with these dogs. Actually playing with them. It was crazy. Last Dogs of Winter was fun to watch and it was pretty informative. If you like dogs and you spot this film somewhere...check it out. As I waited for my brother at the ACC for the Pearl Jam concert I sat on a bench when a young girl stat down beside me and just started bawling. I changed seats. Man, this blog makes me sound like such a horrible person and I`m really not. Ask my girlfriend or my best friend or her family. If I sat there, it would have just been awkward. So, I moved. I`m comfortable with my decision. The Pearl Jam show was awesome. A great set with tons of rarely played songs. Half of the set was from the first two albums which was fantastic, plus there were covers of songs by the Cavaliers, the Who and MC5. Excellent show. Opened with Go and Animal and closed with Baba O`Reilly and Yellow Ledbetter. Nice. Can`t wait to see them again Thursday night back in Hamilton. 3 films Tuesday including the sequel to Hard Core Logo.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 4

Greg — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:32:46 +0000

Sunday September 11th. 10 years ago today I had a unique experience at TIFF. I was standing in line on Yonge St. outside the old Uptown theatre just before 9am with my buddy Jason and I think we were going into see a screening of Shadow of the Vampire. Word was spreading through the line that a bomb had gone off at the World Trade Centre. As we walked into the theatre, rumours became facts and we found out that two planes had crashed into the buildings. The movie played and one of the TIFF programmers came out after and said that because of the tragedy the rest of the screenings that day had been cancelled. The only other film that day that I had a ticket for was The Believer with Ryan Gosling. I met up with my friend Kelly and we went over to the Burgundy Bar & Grill and watch CNN for a bit and I couldn't believe what was happening. People were freaked out. Here we all were at a world renowned event. People were wondering if something like that could happen in Toronto that day. With a small panic in Toronto, you couldn't even fathom what it must have been like in New York or the entire U.S. Throughout the day, I watched hundreds of first responders try to help people. NYPD, FDNY, doctors, nurses, soldiers, common citizens. I'm glad they cancelled the Fest for that day as I was in no mood to watch a movie. I was watching history. A dark history, yes, but history nonetheless. I remember I called my Mom that night and she had been sick all day and had no idea that anything had happened. I bet we all wish we could have had that feeling. The next day TIFF started right back up again and I still have never seen The Believer. I only had two TIFF screenings lined up, but I always like to check out other films in town that I'd like to see, so I had some planning to do. First thing I needed to do was find a sports bar, so I could watch some of the Ti-Cats game. I had forgotten that everyone else on the planet was watching the first Sunday of the NFL season, so finding a TV was going to be tough. I finally found a place that would put the game on the TV at the back. Throughout my lunchtime there I endured ridicule for watch the CFL. It's the Canadian Football League. I'm in Canada. That shouldn't be a stretch to think some people like it. The CFL is fun. Doing the Ti-Cats rally chant with 18,000 people is pretty damn cool. All together now: Oskee wee wee. Oskee wa wa. Holy Mackenaw. Tigers, Eat 'em Raw! Hmm, I suppose that is ridiculous. However, Pigskin Pete just gets you riled up. Anyway, I ate my lunch (cobb salad) and went to my first screening. It was called Dark Horse and was directed by Todd Solondz. He's a weird guy. He directed Welcome to the Dollhouse (which I saw 16 years ago at my very first TIFF) and Happiness. Check those odd birds out. Dark Horse is about a guy named Abe. He's kind of a loser. His bedroom is decorated with action figures and Simpsons memorabilia. He works halfheartedly for his Dad and doesn't seem to have any friends or allies outside of his mother or his Dad's secretary who finishes up all of his work for him. Things get strange when he goes to a wedding with a severely depressed girl and not only gets a second date, but somehow she accepts his out of the blue wedding proposal. Things take a turn for the worse when his new wife to be reveals a secret to him and Abe's life spins out of control. Now, that synopsis does not make it sound very funny, but this made me laugh a lot. There's a ton of visual humour which is great, but I'm not sure how much re-watchability there is to this film. I fully recommend a DVD or Blu-ray viewing of this movie. I went to check out the new Steven Soderbergh film Contagion which stars Matt Damon, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslett and Larry Fishburne. It's a virus outbreak film and it's friggin' amazing. This is something that most of you can go see in a theatre right now. Go. Now. Trust me. Also, I don't care what anybody says or what that dumb ass South Park movie says, Matt Damon is fucking awesome. He might be the best actor in Hollywood. Immediately after Contagion, I went to go see Attack the Block. This is Goonies meets Aliens meets New Jack City. A group of thug kids who hang out with a big bad drug dealer come across an alien in their South London neighbourhood and take it upon themselves to fight off the alien invasion. This movie is what Super 8 could have been. It was very well done and the action was decent. My main issue is the teen gang who are the heroes of the film. Sometimes it is tough to get behind the main characters when they don't show any redeemable qualities. However, it didn't spoil the movie too much and it was still pretty entertaining. Finally, what I think could be the hottest ticket in town - Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory. This is third part of the documentary series about the West Memphis 3. Quick recap: Back in 1993, an Arkansas court found three teenagers - Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelly. Jr - guilty of the murders and mutilations of three 8 year old boys. During the trial a number of questionable things came up. Most notably that they were convicted with no evidence. None at all. The evidence against them was that they wore black, listened to metal, drew pictures of skulls and one read books on the wiccan religion. That's it. No eyewitnesses, no murder weapons, no ties to the boys, no evidence of any kind that these kids were anywhere near the boys. The young boys were mutilated and there was no excess blood at the crime scene. Nothing seemed to add up. Evidence of jury misconduct and DNA evidence that proved that the teenagers were not involved in the crimes and linked other uninvestigated people to the murders were all brought up to the courts over the last 18 years that they were in prison were all dismissed by the original trial judge. An insane miscarriage of justice happened. The third part of the series dealt with the work by some individuals who were trying to get the West Memphis 3 freed from prison, including the Dixie Chicks and Eddie Vedder. Experts from the FBI and other organizations were brought in to look at the evidence from the trial and it was discovered that the state coroner from the trial was mistaken on his testimony. It always seemed that no evidence of their innocence was ever allowed at the trial. Finally, towards the end of the movie, the Arkansas Supreme Court decided that they would hear all of the evidence this December and make a decision on whether a new trail was ordered. That's how the movie was supposed to end as it was completed on August 15th, 2011. On August 19th, the West Memphis 3 were released from prison. Why? The filmmakers believed the Arkansas court, prosecutors and police were scared that a new trial would be granted and that these kids would be found not guilty and wanted to avoid embarrassment. It was a bittersweet ending as a condition of their release, the WM3 had to change their plea to guilty of a lesser charge and be granted time served. Yes, they are free, but they still are convicted child murderers and the state of Arkansas will not be pursuing the real killers of those three 8 year old boys. A long day. Only one film tomorrow, but I'm going to see Pearl Jam!

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 3

Greg — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 19:58:03 +0000

I had a big day on Saturday with big plans to get home early and rest up for the push through the meaty part of TIFF. That sounds unpleasant. One thing I forgot to mention on the Day 2 blog was that after The Last Gladiators, I spotted Chris Nilan in the lobby. Being a big Habs fan and remembering him being pretty awesome, I went up and spoke to him, shook his hand and survived not getting punched square in the face. He's much shorter than I thought he would be. I started off Saturday meeting my brother for brunch at a place called Allen's over on the Danforth. A couple of eggs with smoked salmon and some sweet potatoes. Pretty damn good. The coffee, however, was amazeballs. Organic coffee is delicious. Ranking the places I've had coffee up here...it goes Allen's at number 1, then Starbucks, and then Tim Horton's. Now I'm not saying any of these other places had bad coffee or that I think their coffee sucks, it's just that from an enjoyment perspective, this is how I ranked them. During our meal, I told my brother about the diet I was on and my attention became focused on a plate of food a couple of tables down. I pointed out the large slices of bacon on a girl's hamburger. He pointed out that I noticed the large slices of bacon and didn't even notice her other large...um...things. What can I say? I like bacon. Keeping on the subject of food and beverages, my stomach was a little upset and after some Sherlocky-ing deduction I realized it was the sweet potatoes. This goes on the list of cheddar cheese and oranges as things that upset my stomach. Is it possible to be allergic to foods based on colour? I can eat white cheddar and grapefruits, but not orange cheddar and oranges. Chalk this one up for discussion on the next Food Junk podcast. Since I do the Film Junk podcast and a couple of the guys do a Game Junk podcast, why not Food Junk? Or a sports podcast. Ball Junk. Let your voices be heard at www.filmjunk.com! We could even capitalize on the popularity of Storage Wars and have one called Junk Junk. On to the movies! The first film I saw was the new documentary from director Cameron Crowe. It was called Pearl Jam Twenty and was basically a career retrospective doc on their twentieth year in the music biz. The footage they found and used and edited in was incredible. It must have taken months to go through it all and put it together. The sound was amazing on the concert footage and it was cool to see how the band came together in the Seattle music scene along with Nirvana, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. There were interviews with the band, Chris Cornell, and Neil Young. For fans of the band or early nineties alternative rock this is a must-see. At times I had goosebumps. The discussion of the deaths of their friend Andrew Wood from Mother Love Bone and of Kurt Cobain was heartfelt and the formation of Temple of the Dog brought back so many memories from my teens. The first CD's I ever bought were Temple of the Dog and Pearl Jam Ten. Obviously, Cameron Crowe was there and the ovation for the band when they came out was incredible. Chris Cornell was even in the audience. I loved this movie. I know I'm not the best person to critique documentaries, but I know what I like and I liked this. I had a big gap between PJ 20 and my next film so I decided to catch something at the theatre. One of the films that I missed out on last year at TIFF was Werner Herzog's 3D documentary Cave of Forgotten Dreams. It's now in theatres, so I decided to check it out. Here's the deal, back in the mid nineties some archaeologists in France discovered a massive cave that had been preserved for over 30,000 years. Inside were drawings from pre-historic man. Drawings of bison, horses, lions, bears, rhinos and even one of a pre-historic female. The discovery of something of this magnitude is pretty amazing. Using the 3D cameras was an awesome idea as you got a real sense of the caves. 30,000 year old drawings. How fucking cool is that? Plus, you get Herzog's excellent voice-overs. My last film on Saturday was the new documentary (I know...it's a lot of docs this year, eh? I need some fiction) from Morgan Spurlock. He directed Super-Size Me. It was all about the massive San Diego Comic-Con. It was called Comic Con: Episode IV: A Fan's Hope. It was produced by Stan Lee, Joss Whedon and Harry Knowles from Ain't It Cool News, so you know it was going to be a geek fest. First, Stan Lee was there and I got to shake his hand. Stan Fucking Lee! He helped create Spider-Man, the Hulk, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, Iron Man and so many other Marvel Comics heroes. I'm not ashamed to say that I learned how to read from comic books, so briefly meeting Stan Lee was pretty damn cool. The movie followed around a few different people who were at Comic-Con for different reasons. A collector, an artist, a costume designer, a retailer, and a couple of uber-fans. As Spurlock introduced the film, the costumed nerds started coming in. One by one they marched to the front of the theatre. Darth Vader, Storm Troopers, Biker Scouts, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Boba Fett, Superman, Supergirl, Batgirl, the X-Men, Voltron, Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Spider-Man, Captain America and a guy from Mortal Kombat. How they watched this movie in full costumes is beyond me. Anyway, the movie is exactly like you'd expect: Clips of nerds who you're laughing at, not because they are funny or just because they are geeks, but because what they do is unintentional comedy. There are tons of interviews with Hollywood nerds like Joss Whedon, Kevin Smith, and Corey Feldman as well as comic books nerds like Todd McFarlane, Grant Morrison and Joe Quesada. The movie was okay, but I can't imagine it took much effort to film it as there wasn't much substantial to it. It was pretty funny, but not technically brilliant, but I don't think it needed to be. If you've ever been to Comic Con or Fan Expo or any type of nerd convention think about how it smelled in there. Well, that's what this theatre smelled like. Good times. Finally, I get some fiction tomorrow. Rock on with your bad self.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 2

Greg — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 14:10:38 +0000

As I said last blog, I have 3 documentaries today. Things kicked off in the afternoon with Urbanized. This was from the director of a popular doc from a few years ago called Helvetica, which was about the font of the same name. Urbanized was all about city planning and architecture and focused on a few cities from around the world like Mumbai, Rio, Detroit and New York. It was pretty crazy to see cities in India or China that have millions or billions of people and where the fuck they put them all. On the contrast you have cities like Detroit, which are bigger than Boston, San Francisco and Atlanta combined, but only has 700,000 people. You see a lot of rundown buildings and neighbourhoods, but the documentary introduces you to a guy in Detroit that got the cities' permission to turn an empty lot into a massive community garden where the residents help take care of it and enjoy all the fresh produce for free. Amazing that no one has ever thought of that before. I ran into my buddy Doug from high school, like I do every year at TIFF. It`s almost like clockwork. It was good ripping on the douchebags we went to school with. Ha. I keed, I keed. I`m still sticking with my diet and went to W Burger on Carlton St. for a fresh turkey burger on whole wheat with veggies on the side. Healthy food is really boring, but as my friend Steve reminded me: Mustard is your friend. As always, meals never go smoothly for me. First I sat down at the bar to read the menu and shortly after another dude came and sat beside me. At this place they dish out carrots and celery to everyone, the same way some sports bars give you peanuts. Well, the waitress stuck one basket between the two of us like we were supposed to share. If we had come in together, that would have made sense, but that was not the case and it just got awkward cause those carrots looked delicious. Finally, I asked for my own and things started looking up cause that other dude got up and left. Weird. All was not meant to be good though as an odd Asian kid sat in the seat and did air guitar to the music that was playing. "Green Grass and High Tides" by the Outlaws. Great song, but still weird to be playing air guitar in public. This was also the point when I realized that he had some extreme body odour. It was potent and palpable. My eyes watered. I finished up and got the hell out of Dodge. My next documentary was pretty god damn depressing. It was called Last Call at the Oasis and was about the impending fresh water crisis around the world. Half of the population of the world could be without access to water by 2025. Las Vegas is powered by the hydro plant at Hoover Dam and within 4 years the water levels at Hoover Dam will be too low to power the city. Erin Brokovich was in the movie and there are still hundreds of cases across North Anerica where companies are still poisoning the water supply with chemicals. Basically, we all gonna die soon. Huzzah. All those stupid Italians washing their driveways have killed us all. Thanks old Italian people. Enough with the murdering, now go make me some gnocchi. In all seriousness, Last Call at the Oasis was pretty good and it had an impact on the audience. It certainly has made me think about my water usage and in front of all of you I vow to cut my daily showers to just 4 per day. On the way to my last film of the day, I passed an older guy with some pamphlets who told me that Hellfire was upon us and that Jesus saves. I was wearing a t-shirt that had flaming skulls and skeletons on it. I was probably the wrong guy to tell that too. I chuckled. My last film of the day was a hockey documentary called the The Last Gladiators. It was about enforcers and considering the summer that hockey has had it could not be more timely. It focused mostly on Chris 'Knuckles" Nilan, the enforcer from the Montreal Canadiens in the 1980's. Nilan was one of those tough guys that could fight all the time, but still be a good hockey player...like Bob Probert. The transition from hockey player to real life was tough on Nilan after he retired as he got hooked on painkillers, alcohol and even heroin to battle the depression of not being able to play in the NHL anymore. Although, I liked the stories that were told and I found the film interesting, this documentary was put together quite shittily. Is shittily a word? It is now. 2 more documentaries tomorrow. 3 words: Pearl Jam Twenty. Pumped.

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Greg’s 2011 TIFF Report: Day 1

Greg — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 18:03:37 +0000

When the leaves begin to change and people start wearing jackets it can only mean one thing. It's September and it's time for TIFF. 9 days of films, plus 3 concerts and a football game to cap it all off. Oskee wee wee. I headed up to Toronto on Thursday afternoon. I've realized it's best to take the train into town, so I don't have to pay for parking, plus it's really not that much of a burden. On the train ride up, I was looking at the route map for the train service and looking at all the different routes and station names. Apparently, on the Richmond Hill route there's a station stop named "Old Cummer". I would not want to get off at that station. Gotta watch your step. I also spotted the emergency tool compartment. No, that's not where they put The Situation, but in fact where they put the things you need in case the train derails or if there's a mutiny. There's an axe and a saw in there. No gun. There goes my chance at living out my Source Code fantasy. If you haven't seen the movie then it sure sounds like I've got a thing for Jake Gyiohahfohall. I do not, however, did you see his sister in Secretary? Dirty, dirty. I had to go to the TIFF box office to pick up all of my tickets and there were a fuck load of people there. In four different lines. Ugh, I knew I'd have to seek out a volunteer. The volunteer experience is a crap shoot. You either get a power hungry douchebag, a complete and total idiot or on the rare occasion a sensible person, like my friend Jill. Jill is not volunteering this year, so I knew I was fucked. The first volunteer was about 90 years old and apparently straight out of his starring role as John Wayne's jailhouse guard in Rio Bravo. My God, this is going to be brutal. There were two lines for TIFF members like me: one for picking up tickets and one for making exchanges. I had to do both and the old man said I had to go in one line and then go into the other after. No way. No fucking way. I asked one of the power hungry people with a headset and found out I could pick up and exchange in one line. This took forever, by the way. Every year the technology gets better, but the ticket process at TIFF gets fucking worse. I had to book it to the Ryerson theatre to make my 6pm movie. As I exited the subway station at Yonge and College, I saw what used to be a Cinnabon. This Cinnabon was in the worst place for someone who could live in a Cinnabon. It's right when you exit the station before going up the escalator to get outside. You go from smelling grease, B.O., and stale urine in one instance to the sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar. The Cinnabon was closed down. Since I'm on a diet, that made me happy. Suck it, Cinnabon! My first film was the new documentary from Werner Herzog called Into the Abyss. Herzog interviewed a bunch of death row inmates until he found one with a story. The inmate was a young kid named Michael Kelly, who had been convicted of killing three people for a Corvette. Corvettes aren't that nice, but I digress. He had admitted to the crimes and led police to find two of the bodies so he was rightfully convicted and sentenced to death row in Texas. Herzog spends time interviewing police and showing crime scene footage and he interviews the families of the victims. One thing that Herzog does that I thought was very powerful was that while interviewing the families he always had them hold photos of the deceased. He keeps handing them different pictures and asking them about the photos and he gets a ton of real emotion out of these people considering the crime is now ten years old. Herzog also interviews a prison guard that helped perform over 120 lethal injections. Not one person in the movie has a real argument for the use of capital punishment. It was an awesome movie and Herzog does the best voiceovers with his accent. I also got to tell an old man to shut his phone off during the film. Nothing irritates me more than when people fucking text during the movie. Especially here. Stop texting!!! I can be mean and intimidating to old people and children all day long. I'm certain I had my first celebrity sighting Thursday. I'm positive I saw Gil Gerard. He played Buck Rogers on TV. Is he still alive? Strangely enough, it was on Gerrard St. I had some time to kill before my next film, so I went to a sports bar and watched the Packers/Saints game. What an awesome game. I don't think the bartender was too happy that I ordered water, but I did eat some chicken, so all is good, I guess. The other film I watched was the first Midnight Madness film this year and it was an Indonesian martial arts/action film called The Raid. It was about a team of strategic force unit police officers who raid a drug kingpins apartment complex to try and take him out. This movie was overloaded with action. Bullets, machetes, knives, elbows, knees, punches and an insane amount of kicks to the face. This movie was crazy. There were some extended hand to hand combat scenes that went on and on and just got more and more intense. It was pretty kickass. If you like action films and you get a chance to check it out, do it. Seriously. One final thing: people in the audiences at TIFF are still doing this annoying pirate thing before movies start. Once the programmers give their speech about sponsors, they used to say stuff about anti-piracy laws and some fuckers started doing this 'arrrggghhhh' thing. It got huge the last couple of years, but it's always been very annoying cause new people to TIFF fucking laugh at it and people think they are justified. Fuck that. It's been 4 years or so. Let it fucking go, assholes. 3 documentaries Friday. Let's hope they're good!

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Randy “Macho Man” Savage 1952-2011

Greg — Fri, 20 May 2011 19:28:42 +0000

I'm not sure where to begin. Growing up, most of us had people we looked up to or admired. Teachers or coaches. Celebrities or athletes. Naturally, most of my influences were in the world of sport. People like Kirk Muller, Cal Ripken Jr., Paul Molitor, Mario Lemieux and of course Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, 'The British Bulldog' Davey Boy Smith, 'Mr. Perfect' Curt Henning, 'Ravishing' Rick Rude and Randy 'Macho Man' Savage. With today's news, the last four on that list are all gone. TMZ broke the news that 58 year old Randy Savage (Poffo) sufferred a heart attack while driving his 2009 Jeep Wrangler. He lost control, it went over a concrete median and crashed head on into a tree. Fortunately, his wife escaped the accident with only minor injuries. Savage had an amazing career. Six time World Champion, an Intercontinental Champion and one of half of one of the greatest tag teams of all time, The Mega Powers. He's actually been one of those wrestlers that stopped working when he got too old and managed to stay out of the limelight. His match at Wrestlemania 3 against Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat is one of the greatest and one of the most technically perfect matches of all time. There were times when I was a young lad that I would absolutely hate the 'Macho Man'. He would do unspeakable things to the good guys like Steamboat, Tito Santana and Koko B. Ware. Over the years, I grew to respect Randy Savage and really appreciate his in-ring work as well as his amazing promo ability. If you're not sure of how awesome Savage was as a personality. Check out this video and try to keep up. For me, Savage had a memorable appearance in Sam Raimi's 2002 Spider-Man playing pro-wrestler Bone Saw McGraw. He also made appearances on Walker: Texas Ranger and did voice work in the movie Bolt as well as the television shows Family Guy and King of the Hill. One thing the Savage did not accomplish is an induction in the WWE Hall of Fame. Some say he had a big fallout with Vince McMahon. Hopefully, he'll get his due and be inducted along with his longtime manager and valet, the late Miss Elizabeth.

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Greg’s 2010 TIFF Report: Day 9

Greg — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 13:05:04 +0000

They say all good things must come to an end. I'm not sure who 'they' are, but I suppose 'they' are right. TIFF is over. It's been a long 9 days and I'm exhausted. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm looking forward to seeing good ol' Jackson Square again. Before I get into it, I should clear up something. It was brought to my attention by one person, that I actually neglected to mention the name of the brilliant Darren Aronofsky ballet film I saw last night. It was called Black Swan. This leads me to believe one of three things happened. 1) All of you already knew the name of the movie, 2) Since it's the weekend no one has spent much time in front of the computer, or 3) No one gives a shit about what I have to say. I think it's mostly 3, but like every other great asshole in the world, I don't care. I will continue. As most of you know, my cell phone fell out of my pocket on a cab ride on Friday night, so I had to go get a new one today. Why was in a cab? Well, I was being a good person. I had been waiting for the bus for quite some time to take me back to the place that I'm staying at here in Toronto. It was almost 4am and I had been waiting a good half hour. There was a girl waiting as well. After some chit chat and bitching about the transit system here, I asked how far up Bloor she was going. The street she said was just two or three up from where I was going. I told her that I was grabbing a cab and asked if wanted to come along. My treat. We hopped in and talked about this and that until we got to her street. She got out, said thanks and I continued on to where I was going. At some point, either getting in or getting out, my phone fell out of my hoodie pocket (Thanks UAS) and that was that. Anyway, I got a new a new one today for free from Bell and I was pretty stoked. That made me late for my first film Sarah's Key. A French film adaption of the very popular novel of the same name. The Ryerson theatre is massive, but the problem is that I can fit in about 10% of the seats. It is absolutely brutal for leg room and at 6'4", I need my leg room. I took a look in the theatre and saw that I was out of luck and just left. Balls. I went back to W Burger Bar for lunch and hit on the hot waitress there. I gave her my card. Cross your fingers. No dice yet on Annie. Maybe she reads the blog and decided I was a prick. I did have one movie today and it was the new one from director Robert Redford called The Conspirator. It was about the trial of the woman who was accused of conspiring to kill Abraham Lincoln. Mary Surrat ran a boarding home where the group of men (including her son) led by John Wilkes Booth lived and held meetings on how they were going to kidnap the President. Wilkes ended up having his own agenda and murdered Lincoln instead. There was never any proof that Mary Surrat knew what was going on as all of the evidence was clearly fabricated. However, because the Nation was still fighting the Civil War, the government made it impossible for Mary Surrat to be found innocent and she was put to death for the crimes of her son. The movie had a good cast with James McAvoy, Robin Wright, Kevin Kline, that guy who's dating Drew Barrymore and that Irish guy who played the father in The Commitments and also ran the teleporter on the Star Trek show in the 90's. This movie was average. It just wasn't that interesting. Now, if they made it so that Lincoln was saved by Bill S. Preston Esq. and Ted Theodore Logan then we'd have an interesting movie. You know, now would be the perfect time to make Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure 3 with Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter. And so it ends. Another year of TIFF. The 15th anniversary. Best of the Fest: 1) Black Swan 2) Let Me In 3) I Saw the Devil 4) Tabloid 5) Trigger Here's to another 15.

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Greg’s 2010 TIFF Report: Day 8

Greg — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 13:19:45 +0000

All together now: Oskee-Wee-Wee, Oskee-Wa-Wa, Holy Mackenaw, Tigers! Eat 'em Raw!! Did you all see that amazing comeback tonight? Cats down by 19 in the 4th quarter and they climb back for a win in B.C. against the Lions. Absolute gold. Made even better by the wings I ate while watching it. I have to say "Let's Wing It" at Yonge and College might be one of my favourite places ever. All right, now that we have that out of the way... I hadn't decided whether I was going to see 3 or 4 movies today, but after the 3 hours of sleep I had, I think 3 is a better idea. Morning starts off great as my friend Krista went out a got me coffee and made me brunch. Poached eggs in tomato sauce on beet greens and toast. That's right! I had vegetables! First up today is a Canadian film by director Bruce McDonald called Trigger. Now, Bruce is a favourite director of mine. Hard Core Logo is one of my favourite music movies ever. Trigger stars Tracy Wright and Molly Parker as the all girl punk group of the same name. The movie takes place 10 years after Trigger break up and tells us the story of the first night that the two of them have spent together since that fateful night. A great script with amazing dialogue and an acting clinic put on by two of Canada's finest. Tracy Wright passed away shortly after finishing this film and really, the movie is a beautiful tribute to her in a way. Next up is super-hero movie Super starring Rainn Wilson from the Office, Live Tyler, Kevin Bacon and Ellen Page. Afer Frank's (Wilson) wife (Tyler) falls under the influence of a drug dealer (Bacon), he transforms himself into the Crimson Bolt, a hero with no super powers, no abilities and no clue. With his sidekick Bolty (Page) he hits the streets looking for justice with his trusty wrench. Yeah, he smashes people in the face with his wrench. Think Kick-Ass, but with adults and more graphic violence. I thought it was pretty good. In between films, I walk past a shwarma place and the only customer inside is a clown. Yeah, a fucking clown. I hate clowns. I had to spin around and walk past it again just to be sure I saw what I saw. What the hell? Finally, I had the hottest ticket in town. The new film from acclaimed director Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For a Dream, The Fountain and one of the best movies of the decade, The Wrestler). This one stars Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and Winona Ryder. Portman plays Nina, a ballerina in the New York Ballet company whose life revolves around nothing but dance. When Ryder's character Beth, is forced into retirment by the director, a new star ballerina is needed and Nina fits that role. Kunis plays a carefree ballerina named Lilly, a new dancer that impresses the ballet director and becomes competiton to Nina. The lead role in Swan Lake requires the dancer to perform both as the innocent White Swan which fits Nina's personality and as the darker Black Swan with which Lilly is the personification of. As the ballet company draws near to it's opening performance of Swan Lake, the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship. Nina begins to explore her dark side which threatens to destroy her. I thought this film was brilliant. It was beautifully filmed. The music is amazing and it plays at such a high level that the entire film is a crescendo. The editing was outstanding and Natalie Portman gave the performance of her life. It opens everywhere in early December and I advise you to go see it. One more day of TIFF with my final two films tomorrow. I miss my bunny.

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