Film Junk Podcast Episode #230: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra and Orphan
0:00 – Intro / TMNT and 300 Giveaways
3:15 – Headlines: John Hughes Dies, Jay Chou is Kato, Rain to Star in Enter The Dragon Remake, At The Movies Gets New Hosts, Machete Cast Confirmed, Jeremy Piven and Ken Jeong on Monday Night Raw, Paramount to Start Releasing Movies on Blu-ray First, Spielberg to Direct Harvey Remake, Marc Webb for Jesus Christ Superstar Remake, Michael Moore Giving Up Docs?
22:45 – Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
54:15 – Review: Orphan
1:00:35 – Trailer Trash: The Lovely Bones, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, Where The Wild Things Are
1:09:15 – Other Stuff We Watched: Funny People: Live, Tool: Live, Man vs Food, How’s Your News?, Alias, Donkey Punch
1:31:45 – Junk Mail: Sports Fans, Re-evaluating Movies Without a Rewatch, Netflix in Canada, Watching Bootlegs, Learning English from Film Junk, Favourite U.K. TV Shows
1:49:25 – This Week’s DVD Releases
1:59:35 – Outro
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Comments (57)
In regard to Sean’s confusion over the Tucker Max trailer – Green band trailers always have the film’s rating. “The following trailer is for all audiences. The film being advertised has been rated…”
Something to that effect.
Posted by RJ on August 10th, 2009Loving the philly junk mails. Why not a kick-ass background score like last time though? Otherwise definitely up to par.
Greg’s exploits are the fucking best.
Posted by Henrik on August 10th, 2009agreed with Sean entirely on the GI Joe review. It’s not that I didnt appreciate the light hearted early 90s unpretentious route it took, but yes exactly, when you’re following Tatum and Wayans, there’s just nothing to be excited about, and it becomes a big bore. I agree that TF2 is better (not saying much) for similar reasons as Sean, it still has a couple ‘movie moments’ that I’ll at least remember.
Even pulling a fuckup like Street Fighter and having a JCVD type person in the role of Duke would have been a step up in the charisma department.
Posted by Goon on August 10th, 2009That’s a shame about Netflix not serving Canada. I wonder if it is something legal or political. If not, they should open it up first just for customers in high population density areas like southern Ontario.
One good thing about Netflix that I take advantage of is the streaming video for selected movies and TV shows. I watched the first 4.5 episodes of Man v. Food yesterday. It’s appropriate that it is on the Travel Channel because it really makes you want to make a pilgrimage to try out some of these concoctions (but not necessarily all of the “challenge” meals).
Jay, I’m glad you liked the Alias pilot, that’s one of my favorite series, and I think one of the best pilot episodes of any series. The music goes back and forth during an episode from dated feminine pop playing over Sydney’s normal life scenes, to fast rock songs and euro-dance music (often very cool but obscure) playing over the spy scenes. The first season is very fun and addicting, and the second even better. From a story arc standpoint it goes gradually downhill after that (it lasted 5 seasons), but judging each episode on its own, it was always quality.
Posted by Mason on August 10th, 2009When is the new Cantankerous coming?
Posted by Kyle on August 10th, 2009agreed with Jay entirely on the GI Joe review. It’s not that I thought Tatum or Wayans brought anything more than 2D reads of otherwise thin characters, but the set pieces were enough to make me not care too heavily how much depth the characters had. I agree that TF2 is the biggest piece of shit this side of the multi-verse (not saying much) for similar reasons as Jay, and GI Joe still has a couple ‘movie moments’ that I’ll at least remember, such as Rachel Nichols looking hot as fuck playing Scarlett.
No, I did not retype Goon’s comment. Why would someone even accuse me of such a shallow and stupid thing?
Posted by Dave on August 10th, 2009Jay has been busy with Beauty Day, so I guess Cantankerous fans need to be patient. I do appreciate your impatience though. But don’t expect the upcoming Cantankerous to be anything special. I’m guessing senility will make me unintelligible by the end of the year.
Posted by Reed Farrington on August 10th, 2009I’m wondering how my position on GI Joe will be depicted when the new FilmRot podcast comes out, it seems Dave is intent on calling me out
I mean seriously, I’ve forgotten it – its gone, all that remains is “The Doctor”’s movie trailer voice and Rachel Nichols indeed looking fine. I wonder if Dave just fears I’m going to campaign for him being banned from this site after agreeing to banishment if it was even half as bad as Transformers. By that decree I would probably have Sean’s vote
Posted by Goon on August 10th, 2009If Reed is on the D9 show you MUST make him bring his “lie detector” this time so you can get a straight honest answer out his impressions of it.
Posted by Goon on August 10th, 2009true that, and make lay his ballsack on it
Posted by rus in chicago on August 10th, 2009oops, to much rum….
true that, and make HIM lay his ballsack on it
Posted by rus in chicago on August 10th, 2009“I’m wondering how my position on GI Joe will be depicted when the new FilmRot podcast comes out, it seems Dave is intent on calling me out”
That’s right! All summer long James and I have been bagging on both Goon and GI Joe. For weeks we put up posts like, “These GI Joe Effects Look Like SHIT” and “No One Listens To Critics Anymore Because GI Joe Will SUCK!” What will our review reveal?!? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT ROTCAST CAUSE WE BE ALL UP IN DAT SHIT!
FilmRot: A Blog With Personality.
Posted by Dave on August 10th, 2009Sommers: I don’t know that yet. I’m really hoping to do `G.I. Joe 2,’ but the film has to make a swimming pool full of money for that to happen. On `Tarzan,’ the way we’re writing it, he will be mid-20s. There are many great female actors between the ages of 20 and 35 but a real dearth of male stars that age. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey, those guys are 40 or past it. I hope `G.I. Joe’ is creating one of those stars in Channing Tatum.
Posted by rus in chicago on August 11th, 2009we should all focus more on the people who made gi joe possible, the true artists of it all. on a similiar note we need more Knox Harrington on the show.
Posted by kris on August 11th, 2009I WANT MORE COBRA COMMANDER YO!
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009in other words Dave, I agree more with Campea about GI Joe than I do with you, so you’re attacking him through me…
Maybe you should just email him some of your numerous unsent letters rather than slapping his bullshit on me, burning it down, and calling it ‘pwnage’. Kind of annoying buddy. It’s not a role I like playing, and it doesn’t even fit. Despite hating GI Joe, it’s a pretty benign hate. I didn’t care in advance if it was going to suck, and now that its over I don’t really care that it sucked. I blame myself for seeing it rather than Sommers for being a bad director, or Devin for raising hopes one hair above expectations, or Campea for spending months trying to sway opinion before anyone saw it.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009GI JOE > RATATOUILLE!!!
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009Henrik continues to amuse. Perhaps you think so. GI Joe is so not worth my time. I’d rather plop Ratatouille into my DVD player.
I managed to get to the theatre three times last weekend: The Cove, Thirst, (500) Days of Summer. And was happy to be in quiet, relatively empty cinemas while all the unwashed masses flocked to Stephen Sommers’ latest Turdburger. $175 Million for that? Really? I hope it dies a painful “The Spirit” death so that Hasbro stops making movies out of their toys.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009It was meant as a joke.
Did you see GI Joe? Otherwise shut your pie-hole! It’s harmless.
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009As I said, Henrik continues to amuse.
No I did not see G.I. Joe. I don’t plan on it either. Same reason I skipped TF2, Pirates3, Shrek3, etc. etc. The amount of money spent on these films is unholy.
Is this really a worthwhile ‘user fee’ to keep Stephen Sommers and Michael Bay from otherwise wrecking good scripts?
GI Joe isn’t so harmless because it continues the trend of toy/ride movies that has already gotten way out of hand, but still finds manages to spend more money and find new lows.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009GI Joe is as harmless a movie as you can get in 2009, or any time really. It’s no more destructive to the world than Jaws or Indiana Jones or Star Wars or Public Enemies.
Does it make it worse that it’s based on toys or rides? What a weird notion. Is it because you’ve made children and you feel violated by the corporations pushing their product? All I say to that is, leave the rest of us who didn’t make kids alone with your grumpy attitude, and go spend time with the ones you made instead!
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009?? “All I say to that is, leave the rest of us who didn’t make kids alone with your grumpy attitude” ?? WTF?
You say what you will about the dawn of the blockbuster era, Jaws, Indiana Jones (and of course the clincher, Public Enemies…) those were pretty good films, were they not?
Anyone who has seen G.I. Joe, could you please confirm for me that it is not quite as good as Jaws or Raiders of the Lost Ark.
I may grant you Indy IV, because it is probably on par with GIJoe.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009Yeah I dont get Kurts deal with the ‘toy ride movies’ schpiel he’s been on as of late. There’s been some other weird rumored ones (ie Monopoly) but its still a big overreaction.
and besides, Clue is awesome.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009Kurt, Henrik doesn’t like Jaws. Yeah I know. You can search FJ for an epic yelling fight between us on it, or you can start your own new one. Bindar Dundat.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009Why ‘WTF’ ? Did you read all I wrote? There was a question in there as well.
I think Jaws is okay, nothing special, which equals hating it in certain parts of the world (the internet). Raiders is worse than Jaws, and probably closer to the level of GI Joe. I think I prefer the giant sea battle of GI Joe to 40 minutes of blaring trumpets as Indy travels highspeed through various means with no let-up. Duke in GI Joe has the same amount of character and personality as Dillinger in Public Enemies in my opinion, and he actually experiences some exciting stuff, instead of jails, banks and hideouts.
I did not mind Indy 4, I liked it more than I liked Raiders the last time I saw it. With these bullshit films, I don’t mind videogame action and cartoon imagery, I think it’s what computers should be used for. Give me the millions of stuff and have fun with it, just don’t pretend anybody is taking it seriously. With Indy 4, when he’s swinging with monkeys, it’s clear that it’s for gags, but in Raiders when they melt the faces off of nazis, I’m supposed to be engaged? That doesn’t work at all for me.
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009“Duke in GI Joe has the same amount of character and personality as Dillinger in Public Enemies in my opinion, and he actually experiences some exciting stuff, instead of jails, banks and hideouts.”
Its that crit of Public Enemies that has kept me from seeing it yet.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009It’s been decades, but I seem to remember liking CLUE when it came out, if for no other reason than Tim Curry and Christopher Lloyd’s collective awesomeness.
My problem with Toy-Ride movies is not that they exist, but rather that they suck up $175M each. Back when Clue was made for example, it was $15 Million movie, even in 1985 dollars that is not $175M today. I’ve got no problem with ‘reasonable’ amounts of money being spent on these, but the unholy sums being sacrificed at the altar for this stuff is simply crazy. It’s killing the mid-range ($30 Million) movie that would take some chances, like District 9 or The Thin Red Line or The Informant, I cannot even think of too many examples of the ’smart studio movie’ with a healthy budget.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009“the unholy sums being sacrificed at the altar for this stuff is simply crazy.”
I agree, but if you want to complain about money in any capacity, I wouldn’t say Hollywood is where you do it. How about CEO salaries man! That’s the real bullshit!
“It’s killing the mid-range ($30 Million) movie that would take some chances”
Is it? Some proof maybe? It could be, but then again, who gives a shit? Movies are being fucking made all over the world, get your good stuff outside your own little pocket. Only america does GI Joe, that’s their justification, the rest of the world is doing all sorts of stuff.
BTW, epic jaws fight here: http://www.filmjunk.com/2008/01/22/2008-oscar-nominees-announced/
I still won that one!
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009In answer to your question Henrik, this has nothing to do with the fact that I have young children.
I would be just as miffed about this particular coporate synergy BS if I were spawn-less.
I imagine GI Joe is probably fine for 8 year olds, but do 8 year-olds need to be determining how $175 is spent on making movies? And thus something like this childrens fare needs to be sold to pretty much everyone. Doesn’t it? Meaning less ‘good’ stuff from the studios and more of this clogging the multiplex.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009I happen to not like Jaws either and think it’s majorly overrated, though I’m not really interested in defending that statement cause I haven’t seen it in years (although, I do like the technical filmaking of jaws). In fact, I didn’t like Raiders either, blasphemous as this may be. It’s just too ludicrous and I didn’t buy the story, even as a kid. One unforgiveable moment in Raiders is in the beginning when Indy is teaching class, and all the young college tang are fawning over him, and that one chick blinks her eyes and has “I love you” or whatever written on the back of her eyelids. What the fuck is that? Who does that? No one. Ever. It’s such a stupid movie thing that was un-needed. As a kid I remember thinking “that’s fucking dumb” and this sentiment colored my opinion of the movie ever since.
Posted by dan on August 11th, 2009@Henrik:
“It could be, but then again, who gives a shit? Movies are being fucking made all over the world, get your good stuff outside your own little pocket. Only america does GI Joe, that’s their justification, the rest of the world is doing all sorts of stuff.”
This is actually a fair statement, and it is probably the reason why I watch so much foreign cinema. Chan-Wook Park’s THIRST is pretty awesome by the way.
But you know, I’d like to see studios still make movies like THE FRENCH CONNECTION, APOCALYPSE NOW, THE GODFATHER, Lynch’s DUNE, THE PRESTIGE, and THE NEW WORLD. All of which tend to require resources bigger than indie-wood allows for.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009Great ep, by the way.
Posted by dan on August 11th, 2009“THE FRENCH CONNECTION, APOCALYPSE NOW, THE GODFATHER, Lynch’s DUNE, THE PRESTIGE, and THE NEW WORLD.”
Over how many years did your precious-now-hijacked-studios produce this overwhelming amount of quality? The Prestige is not as good as The Dark Knight by the way, so I guess maybe 8 year olds – in the case of Chris Nolan – SHOULD determine how money is spent.
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009“It could be, but then again, who gives a shit? Movies are being fucking made all over the world, get your good stuff outside your own little pocket. Only america does GI Joe, that’s their justification, the rest of the world is doing all sorts of stuff.â€
how is this a fair statement when THE FRENCH CONNECTION, APOCALYPSE NOW, THE GODFATHER, Lynch’s DUNE, THE PRESTIGE, and THE NEW WORLD was created by American Cinema.
Not to mention the fact that actors and actresses try for years and is thier dream to break into american cinema. So weather our movies are good or not it’s where everyone wants to be.
I love indie films don’t get me wrong. because thier independntly produced they can show subject matter and content that hollywood can’t even come close to revealing. IFC is one of my favorite channels.
my problem is dissing hollywood when thats exactly where everyone wants to be.
Posted by rick on August 11th, 2009Memento IS as good as The Dark Knight, so there!
And attacking Jaws & Indy? That’s just baiting and guess what: you’re gonna need a bigger boat! 
Posted by Bas on August 11th, 2009“And attacking Jaws & Indy? That’s just baiting”
Well, it’s nothing new. Is it really still that controversial not to love these films?
Memento is probably as good or better than The Dark Knight, you’re right.
rick, I was responding to Kurt saying that Hollywood was eating its own tail, I wasn’t arguing that no good movies are made in Hollywood.
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009“I still won that one!”
I’ll let others be the judge
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009Kurt your anger is real but you are directing your energy wrongly. The only reason studios greenlight old toy, doll, food…. movies reflects the BRANDING mantra that has consumed every part of society. Athletes talk about branding themselves, food shows do, even pornstars. Studios don’t care about any of these toys, etc. just the brandname attached to allow them to cut through the media clutter. I’ve said it before, The first Pirates has nothing to do with the kid’s ride it was simply a starting point for the writers. That is what these toy movies should be – an excuse to do a fun, well made movie with a huge budget that has a remote tie-in with the toy, TV show whatever. It is the filmmakers fault when they don’t FIGHT and take advantage of the studios money to do a good movie like Pirates of Carb. Filmmakers and writers need to stop looking at these projects as just big paychecks and work to make the film project BETTER, because in reality this is the only opportunity they got.
Posted by rus in chicago on August 11th, 2009I like GI Joe more than Pirates of the Caribbean too, so I say rus is wrong as well.
Posted by Henrik on August 11th, 2009I didn’t like PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, so as an example, it really doesn’t apply (for me personally), yet I totaly get what you are saying rus, and kinda/sorta agree, but when $175 Million is on the line, how much creative-wiggle room is there, exactly? It’s death by committee and synergy.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009I never got into PotC either, despite several attempts to get into it. I’ve been less bored with each attempt, but I still havent come to enjoy it yet.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009I like the second one better, only because it was prettier and brighter, the stories and the characters are uninteresting to me. And Depp can only go so far as to carry a movie….Bloom and Knightly are capital A Awful. I skipped the third entry.
Posted by Kurt on August 11th, 2009I only like the first pirates. And rus i agree with you as well. I don’t know if for movies it’s neccessarily a brand name, some cases it is. but i think mostly i’ts just the mark an individual product already has in pop culture. but maybe thats what you ment by brand name
Posted by rick on August 11th, 2009One of the problems is that a movie based on a brand name or an existing property will automatically get people talking simply through name recognition alone. Even if it’s a terrible subject for a movie, it catches people’s attention and it’s easily summarized. Later on, that translates to more tickets sold at the box office.
On the other hand, when someone comes up with an awesome original idea for a movie, it’s fighting an uphill battle in the marketplace. Just look at Avatar… if it didn’t have James Cameron’s name on it, it would have to do something pretty drastic to get noticed.
We all complain about the lack of originality in Hollywood, but in this age of headlines and 140 character messages, name recognition rules.
Posted by Sean on August 11th, 2009http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/the_ballad_of_gi_joe_will_break_your_heart.php
Posted by A.J. on August 11th, 2009“One unforgiveable moment in Raiders is in the beginning when Indy is teaching class, and all the young college tang are fawning over him, and that one chick blinks her eyes and has “I love you†or whatever written on the back of her eyelids. What the fuck is that? Who does that? No one. Ever.”
I did that.
Posted by Greg on August 11th, 2009It is a really bad time for movies because now the studios are not even letting the Stars carry films anymore, or, actually the public has lost their trust of stars. Everything is based on branding and concept. D9 for all its originally, I feel, will not break through to the level a lot of people hope. They should of named it “Mork from Ork: The Fight to Go Home”
Posted by rus in chicago on August 11th, 2009@Greg: that’s why you’re my #1 this week!
Posted by dan on August 11th, 2009I fell asleep during the second minute of Pirates 2 and woke up for the final minute. Those 2 minutes were pretty good!
Anyways, re: post above, that reminds me that was probably the best fan contrib to the show ever.
Posted by Goon on August 11th, 2009OMG Greg, I saw a guy who looked just like you at the ballgame on Friday, but I thought it would be weird to go up to a complete stranger and ask him if he had a podcast. But I guess it really was you!
Jay, baseball is NOT boring, Torontonians just don’t get it. It’s a hockey town, I understand that, but it’s sad and lonely here for hardcore baseball fans. All six of us! Blue Jays fans drive me insane, but I can’t do much to keep them from coming to drink and smoke and scream like idiots.
Lastly, I gotta defend zip.ca. I’ve been a proud and loyal member since the company’s start up in 2004. There is a way around not getting the movies you want right away, you just have to micromanage your rental queue. Dedicate five minutes a week to keeping your list up to date, and you’ll get exactly what you want every time.
Posted by Ashley on August 11th, 2009@Ashley – If I’ve learned anything from my times in Toronto it’s that you should always approach strangers and ask about podcasts. If you see someone that looks like me at TIFF next month approach him and say ‘do you appreciate Bon Cop Bad Cop waaaaaaaaay too much?’
Actually, we should compare schedules once we pick our films and see if in fact we do share a screening or two. I seem to remember bailing on the Che screening you were at last year….
Posted by Greg on August 12th, 2009@ Greg – didn’t attend Che or any TIFF screenings last year, probably not again this year, but I might be going to a meet-up with a bunch of other film bloggers on the Monday night. I saw “filmjunk” on the guest list.
So was that you sitting in the upper deck last Friday, along the third base line? I should have come and said hi. Oh well, maybe next time.
Posted by Ashley on August 12th, 2009@ Ashley – Yeah, that’s where I was. Let me know the next time you go to a game. I’ve got seasons.
Film-blogger meet-up? Guest list? Hmmm, Sean and Jay usually don’t tell me about those things to keep me away…with good reason.
Posted by Greg on August 12th, 2009If I saw Greg I would hug him!
Posted by Henrik on August 12th, 2009@ Greg – I don’t know anything about this meet-up either. I was invited last year and didn’t go, and then I was invited again this year. I guess it’s okay if I give out the info, I’m sure any film lover would be welcome. It’s Monday, September 14, 2009, 6:00 PM,
Duke of York Pub, 39 Prince Arthur Avenue. I don’t know if I’ll be going, I don’t know many others who are going other than a few Film Junk and Row Three writers. Maybe though.
I go to every Jay game. Go Red Sox!
Posted by Ashley on August 14th, 2009The show still to short, Give us a three hour show next week.
Posted by jaime on August 15th, 2009SO Where was The Alien “INTRUDER” Enemy Of G.I.Joe? lol It was a line of lil’ beefcake Figures released back in 76′ when Joes were temp. reduced to only 8 inches and renamed Super-Joe,Also included Chest Lightbeam (think Ironman! lol)
Posted by John & Liza Branch on August 20th, 2009Leave a Reply