Help Me Choose From My Pile Of Shame!
Despite writing about film for a few years now, I admit that I haven’t even scratched the surface of great movies out there. And almost every time I cop to not having seen a specific title people call me on it, often claiming that I have no right to talk about movies unless I’ve seen fill-in-the-blank. My defense? The Pile of Shame, the collection of movies I own but I have not yet seen, is so enormous that I sometimes have difficulty choosing just one. That’s why I’ve decided to ask you, the loyal Film Junk reader, to give me a hand.
Please tell me which one of the following ten movies you think it is imperative that I watch immediately. I’ve included links to trailers in the films’ titles where available, and clips where they weren’t. Some of them are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. I won’t be going by majority rule, but by impassioned pleas, so make your case. Write-in votes are encouraged.
Arena – I’ve heard that this isn’t one of her best, but damn if Pam Grier in a gladiatrix movie isn’t a concept that makes me swoon.
Clones of Bruce Lee – Three of the world’s top Bruce Lee impersonators appear as literal clones of The Dragon. I imagine this is the same excitement people feel when they talk about that upcoming Avengers film.
Corpse Eaters – Shot in lovely Sudbury, Ontario for less than the price of a two-four. Canada’s first zombie film.
Joysticks – Because this list just wouldn’t feel complete without an early ’80s teen sex comedy set in an arcade.
Mazes and Monsters – I normally wouldn’t include a made-for-TV movie, but this one involves Tom Hanks and a group of friends losing their grip on reality by playing too much Dungeons & Dragons.
Milano Calibro 9 – On the Macho Movie Review, I claimed that the 1970s were the Golden Age of Macho Cinema. Poliziotteschi like this were the main reason why.
The Pack – Joe Don Baker is one of my favourite actors. Nature Runs Amok is one of my favourite sub-genres. Put them together in a story about people trapped on an island with feral dogs, and I sense a winner.
Pulgasari – Dictator and film buff Kim Jong-il had to kidnap the director for this, North Korea’s greatest giant monster movie.
Santo y Blue Demon vs. Los Monstruos – Santo throws down with a vampire, Frankenstein’s monster, the vampire women, a mummy, a cyclops and even an evil clone of fellow luchador Blue Demon.
Terrifying Girls’ High School: Lynch Law Classroom – I adore Pinky Violence films, so this tale of sex, murder and rebellion set in a reform school is right up my alley.
Comments (20)
Wintle, this was a great idea for a post. On your list, I’ve only seen Mazes and Monsters when it was first shown on television and it leaves me with no memories.
I’m from Sudbury and I’ve never heard of Corpse Eaters. (Jay, I wonder if Haley is in it.)
Posted by Reed Farrington on March 18th, 2009Since I just put “Dolemite,” on pause to read this, you’ll probably not be surprised that I pick “Arena.”
Posted by Bry on March 18th, 2009I have never heard of one of these movies.
Posted by Deven Science on March 18th, 2009I have not seen any of these and only heard of half–so I can’t imagine that anything you’ve listed is a must see. You have the right to talk about film now.
You need to watch the best of melt horror: Street Trash and Body Melt both have penis-gore scenes. Then watch Tetsuo: The Iron Man–it has a penis drill.
Posted by Ryan M. on March 18th, 2009Reed: Corpse Eaters was made in the early-70s, and so far as I can tell the only theatrical appearance it made was at a Sudbury drive-in, which might explain why you haven’t heard of it. And is Corpse Eaters your choice?
Bry: I chose Arena specifically because it contained three of the four essential food groups; blaxploitation, women in prison, and sword and sandal, all necessary for a balanced diet.
Posted by Wintle on March 18th, 2009Get with it, Deven!
I’ve seen half of Street Trash. The only reason I didn’t complete it is because I want to clear the time necessary for a Street Trash/Slime City double bill. I’ve never heard of Body Melt. Thanks for the recommendation, Ryan! I will add that to the Pile of Shame. And Tetsuo is an old favourite.
Posted by Wintle on March 18th, 2009Wintle I think your going to have to watch “The Pack”, it just looks so badass.
Posted by Drew on March 18th, 2009Well … here’s my take you can’t see everything. I understand wanting to be an expert but just like in academia or … medicine eventually you have to specialize and in so doing know everything about pretty much nothing. If these movies are from a genre in which you want to be “internet board certified” then watch them all, otherwise pick the ones that fit the genres with which you want maximum scholarship.
Posted by Ian on March 18th, 2009“The Arena” is the only one I’ve seen, but it gets a hearty recommendation from me. It may be no “Coffy” but the topless oiling up for battle scene makes it a must for Grier fans. If only there were a widescreen DVD version available. It was obviously shot in scope as one can tell from the opening titles but crummy Corman would only release a pan-and-scan copy to disc.
Posted by David Munn on March 18th, 2009I have Mazes and Monsters on my PVR… I’ve been saving it up for a Forgotten Films feature. That said, I’d love to hear more about Corpse Eaters. Either that or Joysticks because I’ve never seen that and feel like I should have.
Posted by Sean on March 18th, 2009when in doubt .. pinky violence, always
Posted by blackmothra on March 18th, 2009lynch law classroom is great fun.
After giving all the links a clickie I’d really love to know if there’s more to offer from “Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom” than what the trailer has shown. Follow your heart Wintle. You pictured the one you need.
Having seen many examples from the sub-genres of your list, I can attest to my belief that “Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom” is possibly a Pink Eiga masterpiece.
Posted by Ryan M. on March 18th, 2009On second thought, “Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom” is probably just 90 minutes of rape.
Posted by Ryan M. on March 18th, 2009On second thought, “Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom†is *possibly* just 90 minutes of rape.
Posted by Ryan M. on March 18th, 2009Mazes and Monsters is worth the watch. It plays heavily on the paranoia of Dungeons and Dragons making kids lose grip on reality.
Not the best production values, but its great to see Hanks shine and he is maybe 20 in this movie.
Posted by Rodney on March 18th, 2009I remember Mazes and Monsters and seeing that on TV as a real little kid. I wasn’t into D&D, too young probably, but enjoyed the movie anyway and yeah Hanks was really young then.
The list you put up is pretty obscure but check out Mazes and Monsters, haven’t seen it forever but remember it being fun!
Posted by 1138 on March 18th, 2009I vote for joysticks simply for that trailer on youtube. On second thought, you should mail it to me and I’ll watch it and let you know how it is.
Joysticks and The King of Kong for an awesome double feature.
Posted by hoffamania on March 18th, 2009Drew: You’re right, that trailer for The Pack is badass. I hadn’t seen it before making this post.
Ian: I made peace with my diverse taste in movies long ago. Besides, I am far too distracted to become a scholar for anything.
David: Thanks for your vote for Arena. Between Bry’s reference to Dolemite and your allusion to toplessness, I believe it may be in the lead.
Sean: Also, what could possibly convince you that you need to watch Joysticks? Totally. Awesome. Video Games!
Ryan: I went with Terrifying Girls High School: Lynch Law Classroom for the post pic because most of the other ones would be obvious from a picture, and might give them an unfair advantage. Especially if I went with Pam Grier as a gladiator. People are already drooling enough based just on the memory of that. The Female Convict: Scorpion series is one of my favourite franchises, so I really wanted to slip a Pinky Violence flick in there, but I’ve already seen most of the ones that are considered the best.
Rodney and 1138: If Sean already had Mazes and Monsters lined up, I think it’s best if I pull it from the running. I still intend on seeing it someday, though. A bunch of us still roleplay on a semi-regular basis. Right now I’m running an old-school kung fu game called Final Stand that’s available for free online. It’s one of the best systems I’ve ever seen.
hoffamania: That’s an incredible double bill. Good call!
Posted by Wintle on March 18th, 2009Pile of Shame…awesome name. I sympathize as I have well over 100 dvds I haven’t seen. I got hooked on blind buys last year, and went kind of crazy. It’s good to know someone else buys movies for the thrill/gamble of it.
Oh, and watch whatever movie that picture is from. ’cause GodDAMN.
Posted by Richard on March 18th, 2009wait…
can I ammend my double bill and make it a triple bill??
joysticks, the king of kong and the wizard.
video games never had it so good.
Posted by hoffamania on March 19th, 2009Leave a Reply