Ahhh porn. Lifeblood of the internet, sustainer of the sexually frustrated masses, giver of both abnormally large breasts and Two Girls One Cup. Yes, whether you love it or hate it, there’s no doubt that porn is big business. Which is why it’s no surprise that Hollywood has whole-heartedly embraced the world of XXX (and no we ain’t talking about Vin Diesel). Over the years there have been numerous mainstream films which explore the seamy underbelly of silicon and sex: from P.T. Anderson’s legendary Boogie Nights to Kevin Smith’s upcoming Zack and Miri Make a Porno. And it seems that Hollywood is showing no signs of slowing down when it comes to its fascination with porn. So close the curtains, grab your three-pronged Swedish vibrator and a pop open a fresh tube of KY as Film Junk Presents…

THE TOP 10 MOVIES ABOUT THE PORN INDUSTRY

10. Rated X (2000)
When it comes to blending sex and sleaziness, Charlie Sheen and porn seem like such a perfect match it’s a wonder Hollywood hadn’t thought of it before. Enter: Rated X, a film which explores the tumultuous world of the porn industry during the late 70s and early 80s. Sheen partners with his real life brother Emilio Estevez (who also directed the film) to portray brothers Jim and Artie Mitchell; an infamous porn peddling duo who helped usher in the creation and widespread success of the American porn industry. Based on a true story (documented in David McCumber’s book of the same name) the film explores the Mitchell brother’s meteoric rise to the top of the smut heap. From their humble beginnings operating a number of San Francisco strip clubs, to their financing of some of the earliest porno theatres in North America, along the way the brothers battle controversial first amendment hearings and a nation-wide public outcry, all while spiraling deeper into a world of sex, drugs, booze and sibling rivalry. It’s a film which — although a little ham-fisted and over the top at times — still manages to offer a rare glimpse into the early days of the now billion dollar adult film industry. Best of all, Sheen’s surprisingly deep performance as a sex mogul makes Two and a Half Men sound like a bad porno title.

9. Wonderland (2003)
In this classic story of sex, drugs and murder, Val Kilmer plays real life porn star John Holmes, a.k.a. Johnny Wadd, a legend in the late 70s adult entertainment industry who appeared in over 2,500 films and was allegedly endowed with a whopping thirteen and a half-inch cyclopean trouser snake. Written and directed by James Cox, the film also features an ensemble cast including Kate Bosworth, Carrie Fisher (sadly sans her gold Return of the Jedi bikini), Dylan McDermott, Josh Lucas, Tim Blake Nelson, Janeane Garofalo, Christina Applegate and a fortunately brief appearance from none other than legendary “An Evening in Paris” porn star Paris Hilton (who looks remarkably different when filmed without a night vision lens). The story centers around the true story of the infamous Wonderland Murders; a crime involving Holmes, a cadre of low life associates, a Los Angeles drug dealer named Eddie Nash and a series of escalating events culminating in the murder of four individuals at the Wonderland Hotel in 1981. While occasionally strangely paced at times, the performances are spot on in this dark, twisted tale which proves that crime — much like porno — doesn’t pay nearly as well as you might think.

8. The Girl Next Door (2004)
While it’s primarily known for starring the chick from the TV show 24 (a.k.a. Elisha Cuthbert), the film remains a mildly entertaining teen comedy which blends toilet humor with a little T&A. The story follows a straight-A student (played by Emile Hirsch) whose dream of going to an ivy league college is complicated when he ends up falling for the girl next door who turns out to be — gasp! by the puckered rectum of Jenna Jameson! — a friggin’ porn star!!!! Hilarity ensues with our hero trying desperately to land the girl of his dreams and stay one step ahead of her evil ex-boyfriend/porn producer (played by Timothy “Deadwood” Olyphant). Interestingly enough, the film is supposedly based on the real life sexual misadventures of slasher director and upcoming “Inglorious Basterd” Eli Roth (who reportedly dated a porn star in his teenaged years). Sure, the film is hardly Oscar worthy, but at the end of the day the plot and performances are still more believable than most porn movies…or an episode of 24 for that matter.

7. Orgazmo (1997)
Who says porno can’t be funny? South Park creators and comedy geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone lambaste the triple-X industry in a film which contains their trademark style of humor along with plenty of on screen lovin’. The story follows a young down on his luck Mormon missionary named Joe (played by Parker) who enters into the lucrative world of porno in order to earn enough cash to marry his fundamentalist fiancée. Soon enough, Joe finds himself starring in a series of low budget skin flicks in which he plays a superhero named “Orgazmo” who fights crime with the aid of his faithful sidekick “Choda Boy” — in addition to having sweaty, messy sex with countless scantily clad women. Of course, the situation soon escalates out of control and before long Joe must use all of his porn honed skills in order to save the day, get the girl of his dreams and, of course, discover the ever illusive Big O.

6. Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy (2001)
To some he’s a fat, ugly bastard with a massive dong. To other’s he’s a fat, ugly, bastard with a massive dong who also happens to be one of the greatest living porn stars in American history. Yes, this surprisingly smart, funny and insightful documentary written and directed by Scott J. Gill, explores the life — and onscreen loves — of porn legend Ron Jeremy. From his early career as the “everyman” of the adult entertainment industry (and appearances in mainstream films like Detroit Rock City and The Boondock Saints) to his surprisingly benign life as a family man, the documentary uncovers the true story beyond one of porn’s most well known stars. Amazingly though, for an industry supposedly known for its sleaze and degeneracy, Jeremy comes across as an affable, friendly and intelligent guy, not to mention having had sex with so many different women he makes Wilt “the Stilt” Chamberlain look like a 40 year old virgin.

5. Finding Bliss (2009)
Okay, so technically the film hasn’t been released yet, but from some of the early buzz (and a recent leaked script) Finding Bliss looks incredibly promising – which hell, is good enough to earn it a place on our list. Written and directed by Julie Davis, this unlikely romantic comedy stars Leelee Sobieski as a struggling filmmaker who takes a job at a prominent porn studio in order to secretly film her own indie flick at night using the studio’s equipment and soundstage. When her ruse is discovered however, she’s forced to join forces with a legendary triple-X director (played by Legally Blonde douche Matthew Davis) and before long the two go from butting heads to bumping uglies. While the script treads on a few well-worn romantic comedy elements, it’s still filled with plenty of laughs and stars Denise Richards and Jamie Kennedy as an infamous pornstar with the ridiculously awesome name of Dick Harder.

4. Inside Deep Throat (2005)
While snooty historians and academics probably associate Deep Throat with the enigmatic Watergate whistleblower, for those of us with minds firmly trapped in the smut gutter, Deep Throat conjures up only one image: the most infamous porno of all time. But if you were expecting a sequel don’t get your hopes up, instead Inside Deep Throat is an insightful documentary which examines the seminal (no pun intended) 1972 film which exploded onto the movie scene and gave birth to the contemporary adult film industry. The doc is narrated by actor — and presumed porn connoisseur — Dennis Hopper and is written and directed by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato. But the documentary isn’t simply smut for smut’s sake, instead it takes an intelligent and thoughtful look into the far reaching effects the original film had on American culture. Best of all, it features a strange and surprising number of diverse interviewees including Deep Throat actress Linda Lovelace, intellectuals Gore Vidal and Erica Jong and porn magnates Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt. The end result is a film which takes a deep and… er… probing look into the Citizen Kane of hardcore skin flicks.

3. Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Legendary fanboy director Kevin Smith blends his trademark humor and pithy dialogue with a healthy dose of All-American porn into a film which (despite some minor rumblings from the studio over distribution) has now finally seen the light of day. The film (which as usual is both written and directed by Smith) follows the titular (no pun intended) characters Zack and Miri (played by Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks); two lifelong platonic pals who share a rundown apartment in Jersey. Low on cash and with their heat and water turned off shortly before the holidays, things look bleak, leading to their inspired decision to make their very own porno. Of course, when the two friends begin to contemplate the idea of having sex on camera — not to mention casting, writing and setting up production — years of pent-up emotions rise to the surface. The end result is a hilarious return to form for Smith and a cinematic Dirty Sanchez of comedy, character and cunnilingus.

2. The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)
Directed by the incomparable MiloÅ¡ Forman (who snagged a Best Director Oscar for the film) and written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, the film stars Woody Harrelson, Edward Norton and infamous crazy bitch turned actress Courtney Love. The story of course, follows legendary porn maestro Larry Flynt founder of Hustler (the magazine of choice stashed in countless teenager’s sock drawers and basement boxes the world over). The story follows Flynt’s life from humble beginnings running a string of profitable strip clubs, to his inevitable collision with conservative American culture in the 70s and 80s and his explosive marriage and battle with drug addiction. Even more compelling, the film explores Flynt’s ground breaking involvement in U.S. first amendment laws with Norton playing the role of his lawyer and featuring a cameo from the real Larry Flynt who plays the judge in one of the many landmark cases. Beautifully shot and brilliantly written, the end result is a masterpiece of contemporary cinema and proof that Americans — and porn loving internet users the world over — owe Flynt a debt of masturbatory gratitude that can never truly be repaid.

1. Boogie Nights (1997)
The crown jewel of Hollywood’s take on the porn industry, Boogie Nights remains an epic film which delves into the dark, unshaved nether-regions of the American porn industry. Written and directed by legendary filmmaker P.T. Anderson (who might also have entitled it “There Will Be Porn!” Zing!), the film also stars an ensemble cast that includes Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, Don Cheadle, John C. Reilly, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Heather Graham and of course Mark Wahlberg as gargantuan-groined protagonist Dirk Diggler. Set in Southern California during the late 70s and early 80s, the film follows Diggler (who is loosely based on the aforementioned John Holmes of Wonderland fame), as he enters into the frenetic and often paradoxical world of adult entertainment. Of course, as in all great tragedies, Diggler is taken from the heights of fame to the lowest depths of cocaine and methamphetamine-fuelled paranoia and impotence. Artfully written and directed and featuring some of the most talented actors working in Hollywood today, in many ways Boogie Nights is one of P.T. Anderson’s most ambitious and hauntingly tragic works, a film that is as equally disturbing and impressive as Mark Wahlberg’s massive prosthetic schlong.