It’s Day 2 here at TIFF and a couple more films in the bank. Just after 9pm at the internet cafe and Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry is playing on the radio. I’m not sure if that song is catchy or if I’ve suddenly grown a vagina. I just looked down and I’ll say the song is catchy. There’s a dude a couple of terminals down from me who’s talking to himself as he plays some war game. He’s very angry at his mouse and he just said out loud “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” and then he did an explosion motion with his hand. I don’t believe he is well.

I had the whole morning off today so I got some extra sleep and watched a few episodes of 30 Rock. Great writing, great cast and great laughs. You can’t ask for more from a show. I also watched part of the Men’s U.S. Open Tennis Final. Atta boy Roger.

So I head out to my first film rather early so I can take my time and walk to the theatre. There’s a couple of museums along the way which I may actually check out this week. There’s the Royal Ontario Museum and the Bata Shoe Museum. I’m not actually going to go to the Bata Shoe Museum. I have no real interest in the history of Bata shoes. I’m not sure who does.

I go past Varsity Stadium at the University of Toronto and check out the new field. They did a bang up job and it looks awesome. I even stopped to watch most of the Women’s Varsity Blues Soccer game. I’m not sure who they were playing, but it was a pretty exciting game. I stopped to think if what I was doing was creepy. Watching university girls who I don’t know play soccer for a school that I did not attend against another school that I did not attend. I decide it’s okay and have picked a favourite player. Her name is Heidi and she wore number 10 and played in the backfield. Tremendous athlete. Nice blonde ponytail. So….maybe it is a little weird. Bah.

I go past the Intercontinental Hotel and there is a massive crowd of people. Fans, paparazzi, limo drivers….the works. I ask some lady who we’re looking at and she has no idea. No one does. This happened last year and I still don’t get it. Finally, some silver haired tall guy that looks like my Uncle Larry comes out. I have no idea who it is. No one does. Time well spent.

Moving on, I finally have my first random celebrity encounter. I run into London, Ontario’s own Paul Haggis. Director of the Oscar winning Crash and the upcoming In the Valley of Elah. When I say ran into…I mean it literally. I wasn’t watching where I was going and I smacked right into him while he had stopped to take a picture with a fan. I claim no fault on this. There was a massive parade of obese women and bald dudes wearing all pink and marching down Bloor St. It had something to do with breast cancer. I was trying to manuever through it and I failed. I was also distracted by the Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Hummer that drove by. It was huge. I know a certain HMV audio buyer who’s giddy right now. Anyway, my first celebrity encounter ended with an apology. I realize that at most times I’m kind of viewed as a doofus, but I really tried to shed that in a town where no one knows who the hell I am. Mission failed. Doofus present.

My first film was Ping Pong Playa. It was about a Chinese-American slacker teenager with poor basketball skills with a dream of being a pro basketball player who has to juggle the strain of living at home, having a dead end job and living in the shadow of his succesful older brother. Everything he knows goes up in flames after a car accident leaves him in charge of his mother ping pong teaching classes. After spending most of the time playing the kids he teaches for their lunch money he realizes that he has to seriously train for an upcoming ping pong tournament. You see, the car accident involved his mother and older brother. Mom can’t teach because her wrists are hurt and big brother can’t play in the tournament and defend his title because he is injured. So, our main character has try and save his family’s honour by winning the tournament and keeping the training classes full. The movie was kind of funny and it had it’s moments, but it was far from original. How many movies does this describe? Punk kid team with rag tag bunch of misfits to train for an athletic event that he can’t possibly win, only to overcome all the odds, win the championship and get the girl. Sounds pretty familiiar. The sense of humour in this film is the saving grace as there are a number of funny moments that actually don’t involve mocking Chinese stereotypes. It featured a no-name cast and was directed by Jessica Yu, who’s previous credits were directing episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and the West Wing.

In between films I went into a downtown HMV to try and become a story. Every HMV has stories of odd customers. At my store there is the legend of the Geri Halliwell guy. This old man used to come in and buy all 5 copies of Geri (Ginger Spice Girl) Halliwell’s solo album that we had in stock. Every Saturday like clockwork. I must have sold him over 150 copies of the damn thing. $25.99 each too! So, I went in to become a story. I found a young female employee and asked her to show me where the Britney Spears DVD’s were. I began to tell her how much I liked Britney and asked the girl questions about Britney. I then did the same thing with Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson. She looked nervous and uncomfortable. I hope to hear that story some day.

My 2nd film of the day was called Bill. Bill was a film about a guy fed up with his job and his cheating wife who reluctantly mentors a high school student all the while dreaming of owning a donut store franchise. This movie had some big laughs. Bill, played by Aaron Eckhart – yes…same guy as yesterday – as the vice president of human resources at a bank run by his father-in-law and brother-in-law. His wife, played by the incredibly hot Elizabeth Banks, is having an affair with the arrogant and vain Channel 10 news guy, played by Timothy Oliphant. Bill’s high school asks him to take part in the mentorship program and he gets paired up with a 15 year Zach Morris type kid. Craziness ensues as Bill’s wife gets taped having sex with the news guy and it ends up on the internet and Bill has to have lingerie store employee Jessica Alba pretend to be his wife so he can convince Sweet Sweet Donuts to give him a franchise. Some good performances from the soon to be big Aaron Eckhart and Elizabeth Banks. All of the above actors were at the screening and I was 3 feet away from both Elizabeth Banks AND Jessica Alba and I was able to keep myself from being escorted out of the theatre. Look at me being mature and not removing my pants for the hot actresses. Sometimes a guy can grow up.

Two films tomorrow including Juno starring Jason Bateman and Michael Cera. Nice.

Greg’s 2007 Toronto Film Fest Report: Day 1

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