Stardust
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
Written by: Neil Gaiman (novel), Matthew Vaughn, Jane Goldman
Starring: Charlie Cox, Claire Danes, Peter O’Toole, Michelle Pfeiffer, Ricky Gervais, Robert DeNiro, Sienna Miller

I’m not quite sure what I was expecting from Stardust, but whatever it was, I don’t think I got it. Billed as a sort of light-hearted fantasy adventure from the mind of Neil Gaiman (Sandman), the movie is being hailed by many as an overlooked gem of 2007. The fact that blockbuster-level success has eluded Stardust, however, is being blamed on the marketing execs, who apparently couldn’t decide what genre or age group the movie was aimed at. In my opinion, it’s not the marketers fault at all, but rather the movie itself that seems unable to make up its mind whether it wants to be a comedy, fantasy or romance, and whether it is aimed at kids or adults. I know it seems a bit closed-minded to criticize a film for refusing to pigeonhole itself neatly one way or another, but Stardust was really just too scattered to gather enough momentum to truly take flight.

The movie opens in a quaint British town called Wall, bordered by (you guessed it) a long wall, intended to keep the normal folk out of a secret magical kingdom that is rumoured to be nearby. A young man named Tristan (Charlie Cox) is determined to win the heart of a girl named Victoria, and upon seeing a falling star one night, he tells her he will retrieve the star in exchange for her hand in marriage. Of course, she agrees, and gives him one week to return with the star before she goes off to marry some other jackass instead. Already you’re probably starting to get an idea of how fantastical and silly the movie is, which is an element I was really looking forward to — unfortunately it turned out to be an achilles heel. In order to find the star, Tristan must cross over the wall into this fabled land, where as it turns out, there are also three witches (lead by Michelle Pfeiffer) seeking the star to restore their youth, while the male heirs of a dying king (Peter O’Toole) also need the star to earn their father’s throne. Add to this the complication that the star itself is actually a beautiful young girl (Claire Danes), and you’ve got all the makings of a great rollicking adventure!

Except… it isn’t. It’s hard to say what didn’t work about Stardust for me, because it did have a lot of things going for it: the visuals were impressive, the direction was tight, and most of the performances were decent. I guess in the end it is the story that failed to grab me. The main problem is that it was simply too whimsical, to the point where none of the conflict was even remotely suspenseful or exciting. Even fairy tales need a little bit of danger, despite the fact that we know how it’s all going to turn out in the end. On the other hand, Stardust is not consistently funny enough to qualify as a comedy. For the majority of its running time, all I can say is that it was somewhat “cute”, but they don’t put quotes like that on movie posters now do they?

Many of the supporting performances were a delight to watch, and I only wish they each had more screen time to give this movie some life. Peter O’Toole as the dying king who wants to see his sons kill each other for the throne was classic. Mark Strong as his cocksure son Septimus was also a blast; he almost reminded me at times of Bruce Campbell in both appearance and mannerisms. Ricky Gervais had some of the biggest laughs despite being on-screen for all of 5 minutes, while Ian McKellen’s great narration was underused throughout the middle of the film and I kind of missed having it — something I don’t often say about narration in a film.

Then there’s Robert DeNiro. The poor guy hasn’t done anything vital or groundbreaking in years, but as Captain Shakespeare, he is probably one of the most memorable characters in the movie. (I can’t say I wasn’t a tiny bit embarassed for him though… it’s sad that his most crowd-pleasing roles nowadays must always resort to self-parody.) Michelle Pfeiffer gave perhaps the strongest performance of all, in a surprisingly wicked and evil turn as the witch Lamia, proving why she still belongs at the top of Hollywood’s A-list.

Despite all of this, Stardust somehow fails to capitalize on its potential. It might have something to do with the fact that the two characters we spend the most time with are also the least likable. I thought Charlie Cox did as good a job as he could, but even early on in the film, I could not get behind his character, who was begging and pleading for a date with the most shallow and stuck-up girl in town. The whole adventure is driven by his desire to marry her — something we don’t actually want to happen. I know it’s a standard fairy-tale formula and all, but at least give me something to root for! As for Claire Danes, I have to say it: I thought she was pretty damn terrible in this flick. She was just awkward to watch on screen, with a fake innocence and childlike nature that really bugged me. I’m sure that’s what the character called for in some ways, but the playful bickering between her and Tristan didn’t charm me in the least. (And is there really a good reason why fallen stars don’t have eyebrows?)

I had high hopes for Stardust, and I do think it could have been brilliant, either as a cult classic like Army of Darkness or a mainstream hit like Pirates of the Caribbean, but unfortunately it just never really clicked. I didn’t care for the main characters or their quest, and at about halfway through I found myself just sitting and waiting for the movie to end (it was a pretty long wait). Stardust aims to be a fairytale for adults, but it’s too dark for kids and too simple for adults, leaving little in the way of middle ground. It’s certainly not the worst movie of the summer (not by a long shot), but in my opinion, deserving of its “under the radar” status for most moviegoers. — Sean

SCORE:

Recommended If You Like: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, The Princess Bride, The Witches of Eastwick, Lady in the Water

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