America’s Least Wanted: Movies That Still Aren’t Available on DVD
We decided to take a look at the last few remaining absentees and examine why they aren’t yet available (or whether or not anyone would actually want them in the first place). If we had done this article even a year ago there probably would have been a lot more entries, but at this point studios truly are scraping the bottom of the barrel. With some of these films it may seem obvious why they have never been released (ie. because they suck), but I still think most of them have enough fans to turn a profit on DVD, while others are surprisingly noteworthy films. E-mail me if you have any other noteworthy titles to add, and if there are enough I’ll do a follow up article. In the meantime, stay tuned for part two: TV shows and cartoons that are still missing on DVD!
Monster Squad / Night of the Creeps
These are currently among the two most wanted movies on DVD; both are campy cult horror flicks directed by Fred Dekker. Monster Squad is sort of like The Goonies meets Fright Night, while Night of the Creeps is a great horror comedy that may very well have served as an inspiration to James Gunn’s Slither. The latest word is that Lionsgate will be releasing Monster Squad in October 2007. Night of the Creeps is still up in the air however.
Twilight Zone: The Movie
This is the one I was probably most surprised to find still unavailable on DVD. It didn’t do all that well at the box office and reviews were mixed, but it’s an anthology film based on one of the most popular sci-fi shows of all time, with segments directed by Joe Dante, John Landis and Steven Spielberg! Come on now. This definitely needs a DVD, and there are rumours that it will be out by Halloween 2007.
Rad
Anyone who grew up in the 80’s remembers this BMX racing movie starring Bill Allen and Lori Loughlin. It may be cheesy as hell, but it maintains a fervent cult following. Surely if The Wizard and Garbage Pail Kids deserve to be released on DVD, Rad needs to be preserved for future generations as well.
Howard The Duck
Although he didn’t direct it, this is arguably the biggest cinematic blunder that George Lucas has been involved with. To this day the movie still freaks me out, mainly due to Jeffrey Jones’ character, but the reviews for this thing were even more frightening. That said, I’m sure there are plenty of Lucas fanboys and 80’s nostalgists who would pay to add this to their DVD collection, even though it has been universally mocked for over 20 years. Heck, I’d buy it.
Star Wars Holiday Special
Once again, here’s another misfire that Mr. George Lucas has tried to keep under wraps ever since it first aired back in 1978. I mean, here’s a potential Star Wars product that has never been packaged and put on store shelves, so you know it must be bad. A lot of people aren’t even aware of its existence, and perhaps their lives are better off without it. Personally, I still think that the world needs to know the truth about this abomination, and there are more than enough Star Wars fanatics to ensure a tidy profit either way.
A Brief History of Time
Jay brought this one to my attention, and in case you couldn’t tell, it’s a movie named after Stephen Hawking’s best-selling book. Acclaimed documentarian Errol Morris directed a biopic about Hawking and his work, and to this day it still hasn’t been officially released on DVD. I don’t know why, considering that the rest of Morris’ filmography is out there, and Stephen Hawking is a pretty big name… you know, as far as theoretical physicists go.
1991: The Year Punk Broke
Just before Nirvana made their meteoric rise to fame in the early 90’s, Dave Markey shot a documentary following a number of alternative bands on tour in Europe in 1991. The focus was on Sonic Youth and Nirvana, with some screen time given to other bands like Dinosaur Jr., Babes in Toyland and The Ramones. He was in the right place at the right time, and this movie features some candid interviews and great live footage from these unlikely stars. Despite preparations for a special extended version coming to DVD, to this day Universal seems determined to sit on it indefinitely.
Ski School
An unremarkable yet fun sex comedy from early 90’s starring Dean Cameron that I happen to have fond memories of. The sad thing here is that Ski School 2 has been released on DVD, but the original still has not. There must be some sort of weird legal red tape involved, as that’s the only possible explanation for such a heinous oversight.
Ken Park
This controversial film from Larry Clark and Harmony Korine has never found a North American distributor since it screened at various festivals in 2002 (and it lost its U.K. distribution after Larry Clark punched the president of the company). Considering the content of their previous films, I can only assume Ken Park must have been pretty extreme in its depiction of teenage sex and violence. That said, even Shortbus got a DVD release so I don’t see why someone wouldn’t pony up for this. I assume it would sell on notoriety alone.
Cruising
Most actors have a few early films that they’d probably rather have erased from their resumes, but Al Pacino has a strange one that actually came after his brilliant performances in The Godfather, The Godfather II and Dog Day Afternoon. It’s called Cruising, and it stars Pacino as a NYC cop on the trail of a serial killer. Here’s the catch: the killer is targetting gay men, and Pacino must pose as a gay S&M nightclub patron to track him down. It was directed by William Friedkin (The Exorcist), and apparently received no love from either gay or straight audiences. There are rumours it will be released in the spring, but nothing official yet.
Roadracers
Here’s another movie Jay suggested, and I had never heard of it until now. Apparently Robert Rodriguez did a made for TV movie after El Mariachi and before Desperado called Roadracers, starring Salma Hayek and David Arquette as a rebellious rockabilly musician who has a feud with the local sheriff. There were plans for a special edition DVD sometime in December 2005, but they never went through. It did get released in Australia, but the rest of the world has been left hanging. Considering how popular Robert Rodriguez is, releasing this should be a no-brainer.
No Holds Barred
This Hulk Hogan-starring feature was basically a not-so-subtle 90-minute advertisement for the WWF (now WWE). I remember it was a big deal when it hit theatres, and also ran on pay-per-view with a real wrestling match to accompany it. The pic stars Hogan as a wrestling champion named Rip who is offered a big contract from a rival TV network. When he turns it down, the network tries to gain ratings by staging brutal and violent matches, with a leading fighter named Zeus who beats his opponents unconscious. Rip finds out about their scheme and challenges Zeus to a showdown. Classic cheese, to be sure, but there are a ton of wrestling fans who would love to get their hands on it!
Phantasm II
Don Coscarelli’s Phantasm is a strange and beloved genre classic about a supernatural undertaker who turns dead people into dwarf zombies with the help of a hovering metal ball. It spawned three sequels, which are generally regarded as having progressively declined in quality. While the first and fourth movies have been available for years through MGM, part III is being released today by Anchor Bay. Phantasm II however seems to be the odd man out, and for the time being remains unattainable.
Shoot The Moon
I don’t know much about this 1982 film but it was directed by Alan Parker (Evita, The Commitments, Mississippi Burning) and it stars Albert Finney and Diane Keaton, which should alone be enough to warrant a DVD. The movie centers on a family struggling through a failing marriage, and it received quite positive reviews for its dramatic performances. Some have even labelled it a masterpiece, and it seems strange that this one is still absent from store shelves.
Moonwalker
Back when Jacko was busy topping the charts instead of hanging babies out of windows or making court appearances, he released a movie in theatres called Moonwalker. It was a collection of short films and music videos from his album Bad, woven together into one feature. Among the segments is one called “Smooth Criminal”, starring Jackson as a 1930’s gangster protecting children from mobster Frankie Lideo (Joe Pesci). Many people will remember this as the backdrop for the popular video game as well. All in all, it is a pretty ridiculous piece of work, but there are more than enough Michael Jackson fans to justify its release in North America (it has previously been issued in Regions 2, 3 and 4).
I Come In Peace
Here’s a low budget Dolph Lundgren sci-fi/action movie that was directed by former stuntman Craig R. Baxley. It seems at least partially inspired by Total Recall, but I don’t know how far the comparisons go since I’ve never seen it. Actually, it sounds quite fun and I wouldn’t mind seeing it… if only it were available on DVD! Baxley is perhaps better known for directing the movie Stone Cold starring Brian Bosworth, which I would have included in this list too, except that it appears to be scheduled for release in June. Keep your fingers crossed!
Kiss Meets The Phantom of the Park
This cult classic TV movie was a huge hit in 1978, but the members of Kiss have never been particularly fond of it. It is admittedly quite laughable, featuring Kiss as superheroes with special powers befitting their characters’ themes. They face off against a mad scientist who runs a theme park and sends robot clones after them. The movie was produced by Hanna-Barbera, which goes a long way to explaining much of its cartoony content. In 2005 a small distributor called Cheezy Flicks tried to release this on DVD, but last minute legal issues forced them to recall it (although a small number did still manage to find their way into the hands of consumers).
Comments (33)
Ski School unremarkable?!? It’s one of the three films that changed my life.
Posted by Steven on April 10th, 2007Haha okay, I guess I thought I was the only one who felt that way!
Posted by Sean on April 10th, 2007This is a pretty extensive list. The only ones I am really that interested in are the two documentaries, even though Ski School does sound alot like a movie I saw as a kid, about a bunch of people going to a Ninja School(It was called The ninja school in danish, I can’t locate it imdb because I don’t know what it was called originally.) I’m sure there are tons of those police academy rip-offs out there…
Posted by Henrik on April 10th, 2007I think the movie you are referring to is “Ninja Academy”. A definite classic, and it has been released on DVD believe it or not.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100265/
Posted by Sean on April 10th, 2007I wish I knew… Guess I’ll have to rent it to make sure! The only thing I remember is some idiot preparing for a date, and ending up getting his head smashed in the dessert and then answering the door. His date gives him a classic first line “I have to go to the dentist. Root canal.”
Posted by Henrik on April 10th, 2007Oh God! Are you trying to kill me with the SW Holiday Special? Man, it was bad enough watching that once…I’m not sure why anyone would go through that nightmare a second time.
Posted by Marina on April 10th, 2007Kiss meets the Phantom of the Park!! Too funny!! I remember when my stepfather found a copy of this on VHS a few years back he went absolutely mental.
Posted by Jim Squires on April 10th, 2007If you want to talk about movies that should be on DVD, you gotta mention Suburbia. Why in the world hasn’t this been released yet? Word has it it’s coming out this September, though.
Posted by Rian on April 10th, 2007Yeah that’s a good one, totally forgot about Suburbia. I’ve never seen it either.
Posted by Sean on April 10th, 2007I’d love to see some made-for-tv movies from the 70’s make it to DVD. Like Sarah T. – Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic, Bad Ronald, Sweet Hostage, Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker, The Wave, The Best Little Girl in the World, and the list goes on. Right now, they’re only available on 10th generation VHS tapes from eBay, and they totally deserve some decent digital treatment. There’s a lot more 80’s T&A and cheesy comedy that I’m waiting for, too, like Stewardess School and Hardbodies. At least the brilliant Joysticks just got released, though.
Posted by placenta on April 11th, 2007It was great to Rad on this list, that movie’s fucking amazing!
Actually, I COME IN PEACE has nothing in common with TOTAL RECALL. Maybe it was partially inspired by THE HIDDEN; they’re both cop/buddy movies with aliens.
It’s a solid B-movie with A movie pretentions.
Fun Fact:
Posted by coyoteblue on April 11th, 2007I COME IN PEACE was filmed in Houston.
i have Ken Park on dvd.. its in any dvd store here in portugal
Posted by Cosmic on April 11th, 2007I need to score some ken park yo
Posted by Doug Nagy on April 12th, 2007you can watch “a brief history of time” in full on Google Video
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-5382609196671955257&q=brief+history+time
Posted by Goon on May 1st, 2007Also, 1991: The Year Punk Broke:
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-5074745239075255736
Posted by Sean on May 1st, 2007What about the movie North with Elijah Wood?
Posted by Robert on May 31st, 2007now, I was enjoying this article right up until the point I read about phantasm II being unavailable, I’m not some obsessive phantasm fan or anything, I’ve only seen the first one but I did once see a rather eyecatching box set in a silver sphere
google “phantasm box set” and you’ll see that all four films have been available for some time
research innit
Posted by VMOS on June 11th, 2007I’m not sure but I believe that box set was only released in the UK, and I was writing the article from a North American DVD release perspective. It definitely would have been worth mentioning though.
Posted by Sean on June 11th, 2007Battle Royale (USA Perspective)
Mazes and Monsters with Tom Hanks
That one movie where Jeff Goldblum plays the devil.
I’m sure there are a few more I can pull off the top of my head, but Mazes and Monsters is a shame. I’d like to see it again; Battle Royale is just travesty.
Posted by Cody Musser on June 15th, 2007Well, I’ve got my Howard the Duck VHS, and my bootleg Betamax – VHS transfer of the SW:HS, so I guess I can live with those.
But I am a tad shocked that Twilight Zone: The Movie hasn’t come out on DVD. I’m watching it right now on that “CHILLER” channel.
Posted by Kyle V. on June 26th, 2007I can’t believe that you omitted Ninja III: The Domination from this list. I’ve wanted this movie for years. Besides being thoroughly entertaining cheese, the movie has historical significance for arcade enthusiasts/video game aficionados as it contains the only extant footage of the now lost prototype arcade game “Bouncer” manufactured by Entertainment Sciences in 1983. The previous 2 films in this series have been released on DVD, so it is both frustrating and perplexing why this one has remained in limbo.
Posted by Major Roy Fokker on July 4th, 2007Oh, and lest I forget, what about Christopher Columbus: The Discovery? The scenes with scorching hot exotic beauty Tailinh Forest Flower were well worth the price of admission, even if the rest of the film was unspectacular.
Posted by Major Roy Fokker on July 4th, 2007Children of the corn 2 (what is it with the part 2’s) was also not released on dvd
pisses me off when they do 1, 3, 4 and 5 and just skip the second movie
Posted by Tony on September 23rd, 2007I want to see two great movies put on DVD and I just can’t understand why they haven’t been. For that matter…with the great technological change over to HD tv ONLY…you would think that ALL movies would be switched.
Anyway, “Abandon Ship” with Tyrone Power is old, but it is an outstanding movie. Also, “The Mountain” starring Spencer Tracy and Robert Wagner was a great movie about greed. I’ve been waiting for years for them to come out on DVD. What give??
Posted by Lauri on February 27th, 2008Some I’d like to see make it to DVD:
* THE GREEN SLIME (1968), Japanese-American production about monsters on a space station, sort of a proto-ALIEN.
Some of those old creepy ABC Movies Of The Week:
* DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK (1973)
* KILLDOZER (1974)
* TRILOGY OF TERROR II (1996), sequel to the 1975 TRILOGY OF TERROR (The one everyone remembers is with the killer Zuni doll).
Posted by planettom on July 18th, 2008I have a List of Movies Most Wanted on DVD. It’s been posted for at least 10 years. Some of the above mentioned films are or were on the List. Amazingly, many have been produced on DVD and I’ve deleted them. Some were so obscure that I believe some producer(s) out there checked out my List. It’s on my UP TO THE MINUTE PAGE if you’d like to check it out. The most recent films soon coming out (2008) are Quo Vadis, All Mine to Give and Escape from Fort Bravo (the latter was released 2 weeks ago and was very disappointing as it was filmed in washed-out Ansco color and very grainy). When we order or purchase DVDs we expect them in the finest quality available, but some companies rush them out uncleaned, poor prints and any old copy just to make some fast money. I expose the BAD ONES on my UTTM Page.
Posted by Crowner on September 17th, 2008Kiss Meets the Phantom IS on DVD. It is on the KISSOLOGY Vol. One DVD set.
Posted by Michael on February 13th, 2009There are two movies I have failed to find on DVD: the original “Willard” starring Bruce Davison and Ernest Borgnine, and “African Queen” with Humphry Bogart and Katherine Hepburn. I really thought the original Willard would come out when the remake came out a few years back, but no such luck. I’d think enough people would buy it to make it worth it.
Posted by David Hubbard on March 20th, 2009What aboy the movie Tattoo (1981) with Maud Adams & Bruce Dern
Posted by bobby on September 12th, 2009Airborne, Gold Diggers: The Secret of Bear Mountain, Susie Q.
Posted by Kayla on October 8th, 2009Many of the films listed have now been released on DVD in the U.S. (The Monster Squad, Howard The Duck, Night of The Creeps, Twilight Zone: The Movie, KISS Meets The Phantom, and Phantasm II).
Oddly, a few others that still have not been released include: The Night They Saved Christmas (1984) with Jaclyn Smith and Art Carney; Batman (the 1960s TV series); Amazing Stories (the second season); China 9, Liberty 37 (uncut theatrical version); The Snow Goose (1971) with Richard Harris; The Riddle of The Sands (1979) with Michael York; Vampire Circus (1972 Hammer Film); Twins of Evil (1971 Hammer Film); and Hands of The Ripper (1971 Hammer Film).
Posted by John on November 24th, 2009Where’s Death Valley? That was a classic horror!
Posted by Alice on March 13th, 2010Howard The Duck….yuck!!! That is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, and I don’t care if it never existed! On a more positive note, I really am glad the the Twilight Zone movie was released on dvd. I would have been overjoyed if I had found a copy on VHS! It took me years to find that movie.
Posted by Glen on November 3rd, 2010Leave a Reply