Finally, it’s here. The moment that thousands of Transformers fans have been waiting for (or dreading) all year long. OPTIMUS PRIME HAS SPOKEN. Well, sort of. Peter Cullen has spoken over top of the title at the end of Michael Bay’s newly released Transformers teaser trailer. Now that the wait is over, (unless you count Peter Cullen doing promo pieces for shallow entertainment magazine television shows in the voice of your glorious hero) what exactly did Prime have to say? Wait for it….WAIT FOR IT……

‘Freedom is the right of all centient beings.’

I just unloaded in my pants…is what I would be saying if I was as easily impressed as the majority of those folks waiting for this historic occasion. The worst part? This is that lame-o line that some fanboy had written for the ‘make Optimus speak’ contest. Well, he spoke. I guess the fine print in the contest rules must have stated ‘The winning line may or may not actually appear in The Transformers motion picture. In fact, it will most likely be tacked on to the end of our trailer. No, not the trailer playing in theatres or on tv, just the trailer available on our own website.’ I suppose that’s a good way to avoid anyone BUT Transformers fanboys seeing this lame attempt at winning over those undecided purists by not only giving them a piece of the action, but making sure nobody with taste hears it.

Some people have already made up their minds about the film, good or bad. I for one am still undecided. I think the trailer showed us nothing new or special, and outside of the ‘Transformers’ name brand, ranks among such fluffy (but fun) Hollywood cheese as Independence Day and Godzilla. But…this is Transformers, and people will be excited for their talking robots smashing shit up. Personally, i’m more excited to see the cliche’d ‘helicopter in front of the setting sun’ and ‘orbiting Pentagon shot’ re-introduced into the action film. For those of you that feel cheated or unsatisfied, check out our own Transformers dialogue here. Michael Bay, this is your chance to take some notes.