Clerks II
Written and Directed by: Kevin Smith
Starring: Rosario Dawson, Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Trevor Fehrman

Kevin Smith’s career in the movie biz has been an interesting one thus far, with its fair share of ups and downs. After his low budget indie triumph Clerks brought him so much attention and acclaim, his first studio picture, Mallrats, basically flopped. Then came Chasing Amy, a movie that redeemed him in the eyes of many critics. Up to that point, I still admired Kevin Smith as a filmmaker and thought he was a pretty interesting guy. He worked outside the confines of Hollywood and still seemed very independent-minded. He kept his friends and his fans close to his heart. I can respect that. But over the course of his next few films, I have slowly lost all enthusiasm for his work.

It’s become increasingly clear that the guy is stuck in a rut, unable to grow up and progress beyond the immature humour and inane pop culture references that got him to where he is today. Which brings us to Clerks II, Smith’s ultimate last ditch effort to stay relevant and turn out a movie that critics won’t pan. You’d think this would be something he couldn’t possibly screw up, and yet somehow he does.

Believe me, I wanted to like Clerks II, and I will say right up front that I enjoyed this movie more than both Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl. But that’s not saying much. I’m not exactly sure what I was looking for in this movie, but I know I didn’t find it.

The movie picks up some 10 years after the original Clerks. The Quick Stop has burnt down and Dante and Randall now find themselves employed at a local fast food joint instead. Randall hasn’t progressed at all in his life and is the same smart ass prankster he always was, however Dante is on the brink of some major changes. He is engaged and preparing to move to Florida where he will get married and live with his new wife. This is his last day of working as a “clerk”, and he just wants to ride the day out and get on with his new life. But there are a few complications that emerge, one of which is the fact that Randall really doesn’t want his best friend to abandon him. However, more importantly, Dante finds himself having second thoughts about the marriage and is beginning to question if his heart is really in it or not.

There were so many things that felt forced in this movie. The humour is still childish, but I think Smith has regressed, if that is even possible. The jokes about Lord of the Rings and the Transformers live action movie just seemed like a sad attempt to be hip and current, but all it means is that Clerks II will be completely dated in a couple years. Not to mention the fact that all of his Lord of the Rings jokes were so easy and typical. If you think back to some of the amusing dialogue from the original Clerks, there are things like the Star Wars discussion about contractors working on the Death Star. To me, that is clever and interesting. Debating the gay undertones of Lord of the Rings? Seriously, how obvious can you be? Can’t he come up with anything more original?

The new nerdy character of Elias that was introduced in this movie was annoying, and not in a funny way. This was Kevin Smith’s chance to poke fun at all his bickering internet fans and critics while also winking at them, but this guy was just so over the top and goofy that it was painful to watch. There were more back and forth exchanges between Elias and Randall than there were between Dante and Randall, and that really hurt the film.

Smith also apparently felt obliged to push the envelope even further in terms of the crude language and gross out humour. Let me be clear about this: the original Clerks was not funny and endearing because it was offensive. It was funny and endearing because it felt honest. I did not laugh at the whole “porch monkey” racial gag, I did not find donkey sex hilarious and edgy, I did not think the “ass to mouth” debate was witty. I barely laughed at all throughout the film. The only humour I did find in the entire movie was either courtesy of Jason Mewes (who manages to be as awkward as ever) and occasionally from Jeff Anderson’s portrayal of Randall, who I just wished would razz Dante more often. The musical dance scene was fun, but once again, that type of parody has been done way too many times before. To put it simply, Clerks II brings absolutely nothing new to the table.

There’s also the whole issue of Kevin Smith using the movie to hock his own line of ironic t-shirts. I mean, no wonder this doesn’t feel like the original Clerks movie. We are constantly reminded the whole way through that Kevin Smith has now forged a merchandise empire of his own and needs to sell himself if he wants to continue to make a living.

I did like the fact that this movie took place almost entirely in one location, and that it wasn’t some zany road trip with cameos from hundreds of Smith’s Hollywood pals (Ben Affleck and Jason Lee are the only ones who do crop up briefly). Most of the movie is simply dialogue-driven with a focus on relationships, which is where his strength supposedly lies. In that sense, Smith brought it back to his roots, even if he couldn’t actually reclaim them.

I even thought the basic premise of having the characters at a crossroads in their lives, and Dante struggling with the possibility of marriage and moving on was a good one. But the characters didn’t feel authentic anymore, I didn’t buy the relationship between Dante and Becky, and when it came down to the emotional core of the movie (as flimsy as it is), I just had no attachment.

But I guess my main complaint is just the fact that I just didn’t find it very funny. What can I say? I like to think I’m not above crass jokes but I guess I’ve outgrown Kevin Smith’s style of humour. All the 13 and 14 year olds in the theatre seemed to find it amusing, and to an extent I can see where some people may have a good time with it. But I have to lump this in with all the other useless teen sex comedies out there nowadays.

Needless to say I didn’t expect much from Clerks II but I still came away disappointed. If this is all Kevin Smith has left in him, I shudder to think what he’s going to do with the beginning of the rest of his life. — Sean

SCORE:

Recommended If You Like: Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Waiting, American Pie

Around the Web: