Postal 2 (PC)
Developed by: Running With Scissors
Published by: Whiptail Interactive

The first thing that came to mind when I first started playing was HOLY CRAP! Actually….. it was more like HOLY SHIT! According to the people at Running with Scissors, violence should be in games rather than real life. I’m not really here to debate this issue, I’m here to tell you if this game is a piece of crap or a good piece of crap.

Hmmm where should I even begin with this one? I’ll give you some adjectives to start off with: Shocking, Disturbing, Violent, Bloody, and now I’m going to hell for playing this.

Postal 2 is a first person shooter that allows you the freedom of playing anyway you like. “To kill, or not to kill? The things you do in the game will have an impact on what will happen later. You play the roll of the postal guy, and you live out a really crappy week in his shoes. You do things like: pick up milk, piss on your father’s grave, get your paycheck, get laundry, get napalm, pick up Christmas tree, go to confession and get Gary Coleman’s autograph. Yes that’s right, child star Gary Coleman stars in this game. You don’t actually play as him but he makes an appearance in the game and does voiceovers and motion capture. “I’m sorry father for I have sinned” But I actually killed him, and everyone in the mall, then set his body on fire with gasoline and pissed on him, while playing soccer with his already severed head. See what I mean now with those adjectives! “That’s what I’m talkin bout foo” Sorry Gary, please forgive me. That’s not even the beginning of it. I’m scared to even say the rest. All I know is that I won’t be setting foot in a church for a while, especial from what I did to people, just because I didn’t want to wait in line.

Depending on your sense of humor and taste, Postal 2 is funny and fun for the first couple of hours. After the jokes ware thin, it seems like your actually forcing your self to play in order to get your money’s worth. It gets pretty damn boring doing the same crap over and over like Walking long distances, killing the same people and having to wait hours for the levels to load up. Giving people Golden showers is always fun at times; sometimes people will even vomit on you when you do it. Eventually it gets stupid and pointless pretty much like this game.

The only way to describe this game over all is it’s the equivalent to the by product of a meal at Taco bell. In other words, “It’s pure shit”. The models in the game are crap, the textures could be better, and the voice acting is so bland. The only thing driving sales is the negative publicity this game has been getting from the press. I bet you want to see for your self now? you sick SOB! I recommend renting it, or pissing on someone to get it, if you really want to know and make sure you keep it away from the kiddey’s.

I give this game a 5 on my ass kick meter. — Chian