Dustin Diamond Live – Feb. 15, 2003
Dustin Diamond Live
@ Yuk Yuks, Hamilton — Feb 15, 2003
Standup comedy is always better live than on record or on TV, and I guess thats a good thing for the case of Dustin Diamond, 26 year old former child star, Saved By the Bell’s Samuel “Screech” Powers. Seeing “the white Urkel” live was if anything, awkward. I had felt that I had grown up with Diamond and the SBTB gang, and its weird seeing him in a new environment, not doing the squeaky high pitched voice, not wearing suspenders, not airing his grievances to Kevin the Robot. (Man he hated Kelly Kapowski, didn’t he?) I had walked into Yuk Yuks this Valentines Day not expecting much. Like most people there, I just went to “go see Screech”. I didn’t care if he ended up sucking or not. It was something weird to tell people you saw, and it would be good to just see the Man anyway. I was wrong. I now want Dustin Diamond to succeed in his chosen craft. He can do it. I know he can.
Dustin Diamond is moderately funny, which is damn good for a standup comedian these days. Dustin is very animated and jumpy on stage. Visually, he’s doing everything right. He’s very enthusiastic in his performance. His material isn’t the strongest, but Dustin is really into this stuff (he’s been doing it for 4 years now), and with a few tweaks, people could go see him for the show itself and not for who he is (or who he was).
Seated about 6 inches from stage and less than a three feet from Diamond himself, I found myself really rooting for him to kick ass, wanting him to kill up there. To Diamonds credit, at this point in his career, having some blue humor in the show is a good idea. Its been keeping Bob Saget busy for years, bringing out audiences just to see America’s dad swear. Dustin’s smart to tap into this idea, and its funny at times, way better than Saget’s thats for sure. Sometimes its funny because its Screech and he’s saying “cock”, and sometimes its just plain funny.
Sometimes however, its less funny because its Screech. And only because it feels like he’s not being himself, at least not as much as should be. For him to come out and only do bathroom humor (which is fine), proving to everyone he’s a grownup now is selling himself short. Sure, I know his ‘observational humor’ about swamp balls and the Drippy Penis is true and pretty funny, but this type of humor, aside from a few Bayside jokes, is his entire act.
Dustin Diamond is a nerd in real life, just as his character was. And thats okay, really. Diamond loves chess more than anything, is smart, his band Salty the Pocket Knife is a big part of his life, he’s obsessed with 80s cartoons like Thundercats, GI Joe (he was sporting a GI Joe shirt that night), he listens to Frank Zappa and Mr. Bungle. He watches wrestling+g. He’s a weird nerd. Theres so much potential material there. The people coming to his show are pretty much the same age as him. If he was more himself rather than the same piss and shit jokes so many others do, he’d have a great set rather than just an okay one. His show was at his best when it seemed more improvised and was telling more personal stories about kids coming up to him in the supermarket, and being in Las Vegas. When he was himself, it was interesting the same way Henry Rollins’ personal stories resonate. Oh well, its enough to make a living on I guess, enough to go on a tour, but probably not enough to base a new career around. I believe Dustin’s smart enough to figure this out someday.
Dustin was able to score off of hecklers a bit. Some people really came with that freak show mentality and made it obvious by constantly yelling “You were Screech!” and “Where’s Belding?” . It wasn’t funny, and Diamond mocked them in a mentally challenged voice, mocking them for going for the most obvious Saved by the Bell references.
By the end, as much as he tried to maybe turn some of the crowd off, change their opinion of him, I still found Dustin to be the same likable nerd he always was. He seems like a really good guy. And he’s got a good attitude, a lot of drive, and I really respect that. But his act still needs some tweaking. — Goon
Comments (34)
I don’t know what you were smoking, but I just saw that fool in Wichita Falls TX a piece of shit no name city and he literally ruined his career right before 400 peoples eyes. Dustin Diamond will forver be in the infamous fag he was known as in the past. Keep up the excellent work you tool
Posted by Alex on July 23rd, 2004Man, screech sucks at standup, Screech sucked more balls than jenna jameson in a hundred person orgy. Screech should be teabagged and left for dead on the side of the road.
Posted by Gary on July 23rd, 2004thank you, Ambiguously Gay Duo.
Who I suspect are the same person based on the time/date.
Posted by Goon on July 28th, 2004its funny that this article got us in trouble with a Standup comedy magazine for being too negative. and now it seems these two think i’m too positive.
Posted by Goon on July 28th, 2004I’ve seen Dustin’s standup before and I think it’s pretty funny – I laughed at the Shaved By the Balls bit so much that I almost pissed myself. I also found myself sporting wood the whole night, because he’s hotter than a pile of dog feces. I would love to hook up with him and play G.I. Joe with him than maybe toss his salad.
Posted by the Gooch on April 4th, 2005Gooch is that you???
Posted by Sean on April 4th, 2005Screech sucks! Check out these websites dedicated to making fun of him and insuating that he is gay:
http://s12.invisionfree.com/Dustin_Diamond_Love/index.php
http://www.dustindiamond.com/
Posted by Lance McBeefwell on September 29th, 2005yes, nothing more funny that insinuating that someone is gay. I wish we had a rolleyes icon for this board right now.
Posted by Gppm on September 29th, 2005I saw his act once and thought that he was lame. I’d rather watch Rickie Lake do a strip tease. I walk up to leave during the show because it sucked and he proceded to ridicule me so I called him a stupid fag and told him if he didn’t shut up I’m make him eat his own balls, he started joking more. So I went for the stage and he took off running. I was then escorted out and waited for him to leave so I could in fact stuff his balls in his cock sucking mouth. If I ever run into him I’ll kick the shit out of him, and he’ll know why.
Posted by Gayland Zack on September 29th, 2005“I walk up to leave during the show because it sucked and he proceded to ridicule me so I called him a stupid fag and told him if he didn’t shut up I’m make him eat his own balls, he started joking more”
a comedian making fun of audience members? THATS UNHEARD OF.
what you did was way lamer than any of Dustin’s jokes.
Posted by Goon on September 29th, 2005whats truly lame? A former childstar stretching out a career based on one role, who actually enjoys what he’s doing
OR
someone who operates a website making fun of him?
survey says… the latter. you fail.
Posted by Goon on September 29th, 2005MUST… SODOMIZE… bzzt… SCREECH.
Posted by Kevin the Robot on September 30th, 2005Goon, you sound so hot! Let’s have gay sex immediately! We can start out teabagging and then proceed to a hot & sweaty scat party!!!!!!!
Posted by Lance McBeefwell on September 30th, 2005now now, what would your forum buddy “Fagbusters” think of that?
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005you guys can drop the act now. with just one visit to wikipedia, I found out about you guys, your lawsuit vs. Diamond, Max Goldberg, everything. i get the joke. I dont find it all that funny but you’ve been quite convincing playing dumb. cheers.
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005Goon,
Posted by Rocco on September 30th, 2005We are having a dumpster party this weekend where I will be dressing up as AC Slater in a crotchless wrestling singlet. If you could contact Diamond I would love to see both of you there. I feel you would love some arabian goggles and mabey a nice spit roast by myself and my friend Dner. Diamond is quite famous for enjoying a lovely donkey punch so I would recommend that for you as well. If you are interested which I know you are just go behind Vic’s bowling alley on ventura and we will be in the dumpster. Hope to see ya there,
ROCCO
no, this little review is lamer than what I did – Screech said more than what I wrote, he was seriously pissed because I wasn’t the first person to leave – quite a few did and each time you could tell it was frustrating him. I did nothing to egg him on, but he decided to try to get laughs by acting tough, I tried to leave it as that and ignore him, but he kept it up, when it came down to it he was just a little pussy who doesn’t know when to shut up. He’s got a nut stuffing coming his way. Now what I think is funny is that the only people coming to this site are homo’s, it’s even funnier that you don’t have anything better to do than to respond to them and use your time to do some detective work on them. And if you feel the need to respond to this and defend yourself, that makes you a bigger fag than Dustin ever could be.
Posted by Gayland Zack on September 30th, 2005no, this little review is lamer than what I did – Screech said more than what I wrote, he was seriously pissed because I wasn’t the first person to leave – quite a few did and each time you could tell it was frustrating him. I did nothing to egg him on, but he decided to try to get laughs by acting tough, I tried to leave it as that and ignore him, but he kept it up, when it came down to it he was just a little pussy who doesn’t know when to shut up. He’s got a nut stuffing coming his way. Now what I think is funny is that the only people coming to this site are homo’s, it’s even funnier that you don’t have anything better to do than to respond to them and use your time to do some detective work on them. And if you feel the need to respond to this and defend yourself, that makes you a bigger fag than Dustin ever could be.
Posted by Gayland Zack on September 30th, 2005sorry about the double post, the site was screwing up
Posted by Gayland Zack on September 30th, 2005Hey hey hey hey hey! What is going on here?
Posted by Mr. Belding on September 30th, 2005“and use your time to do some detective work on them. And if you feel the need to respond to this and defend yourself, that makes you a bigger fag than Dustin ever could be.”
can’t say I ever stopped doing anything because of the threat of being called a ‘fag’, especially when its a hoax induced ‘fag’. wikipedia = 2 seconds. sorry, was I just supposed to sit here and let you fake spam the board?
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005You boys need to cool it with the whole homosexual thing. Mr. Diamond is a pillar of the community and should be treated with a little respect. You gays with your “tea-bagging” and your “Arabian Goggles” are helping destroy the public image of a man who has been responsible for so much joy in our lives, given everything he has just to make up all laugh, and darned if he didn’t do just that.
Posted by Sylvester on September 30th, 2005Dustin Diamond is NOT a homosexual, he’s just a normal guy who played an extraordinary role. He should not be subjected to your nasty tales about being covered in A.C. Slater’s poo and Mr. Belding’s semen. For that matter, how exactly do any of you know that they are HIV+? Seems like you gentlemen are the ones with the problems if you ask me.
The Goon here is trying to do nothing more than to offer a little constructive criticism for Dustin, in the hopes that he will grow as a performer, and as a person. What have any of you on your little “website” (and I use that term loosely, I’ll have you know) done to help anyone else but yourselves? Probably nothing at all, just sitting behind your computers and harassing normal people, instead of going out and being somebody. At least Dustin Diamond has done something with his life, which from the sound of the deviancy of your “website”, you never will.
as much as I assume ’sylvester’ is a fake name. No man, whatever. I don’t think the dustindiamond.com thing is near as funny as ytmnd (which Goldberg also runs, and of which I am registered as a member), but if they want to have fun with their site and if it entertains them, no harm.
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005Let’s see how you views about the man change when he decides to make fat jokes about the woman you are attending his show with. I was with my good friend and he was just busting my balls when we started to walk out to leave, which I ignored but when he said “I guess he’s leaving because he has to go feed his cow” I lost it, thats wrong, fat jokes are ok until you start directing them at an inocent person. My friend was crying all night about it. Let’s see if you would feel the same way as me.
Posted by Gayland Zack on September 30th, 2005I heart Screech!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005for some reason i could actually see that situation happening. he didnt go anywhere cruel when I saw him, it was all blue humor but he was harmless.
you guys should have been around when this article was first posted. Shecky Magazine, which is a standup comedy magazine, threw a shitfit on us because I didnt give him a glowing review, and because I said most standup is terrible.
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005you guys piqued my interest enough to look at your forum a bit more. honestly, the webcomics and MS paint drawings are really funny now that I get the joke.
any stories about his manager? dont know if its the same guy now, but at the show I was at, his manager really did seem to be a pretty seedy character, a bit of a carnie-ish weasel.
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005Check the Remember When section.
Posted by Nasty Nate on September 30th, 2005OK so someone told me that Screech was playing some club in Alabama or somewhere, and it wasn’t going well, so some heckler shouted “stop stinking up the joint!” and Dustin completely lost it and started ranting, and he shouted “I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO STINK UP THE JOINT” and he dropped trow and took a great big shit right on the stage, and picked up the shit and started flinging it at the audience, and then some redneck shitheelers ran up on stage and started beating the shit out of him and calling him a “Wisconsin faggot college boy”. Just a rumor, mind you.
Posted by Isaac Cox on September 30th, 2005In all honesty, our forum and our interests may seem a bit odd and a tad mean. But what you have to realize is that its true. We truly love thinking of sticking our zoinkers in his zoinkhole. I’m not ashamed in any way. Oh and Rocco and I are quite the team when it comes to spit-roasting!!
Posted by Dner on September 30th, 2005Lance,
Let’s have hot cagey sex behind the Knitting Factory dumpster! You can stuff Pepsi cans up my anus. Then when I shit, you can drink my sweet Pepsi-runoff! Awesome!
Posted by Goon on September 30th, 2005The only reason people on the internet make fun of Dustin is because he is (in our view) a pudgy, offensive, unfunny, washed-up, hypocritical douche-lord who is utterly deserving of everyone’s derision. It’s made all the more enjoyable by the fact that it obviously pisses Dustin off immensley (as evidenced by his lawsuit against dustindiamond.com). It also seems that, somewhere along the line, this derision has evolved into violent homosexual fantasies.
If Screech could just not take himself seriously for one moment and develop a sense of fucking humor, we’d all probably lose interest.
Posted by Nerdstrom on October 1st, 2005Don’t you realize that everyone who posts here is queer? This guestbook was created for two reasons: (1) to allow Diamond’s fans to schedule gay sex with him, and (2) to share homosexual fantasies involving Diamond.
In response to your comments about Diamond’s beard, I’ll bet that it does have a strong odor. I’m sure it probably smells like either Belding’s of Slater’s ass!!!
I personally would love to meet Diamond in the alleyway behind a gas station sometime. I’d like to sit on his head and drop ass and then blow my load all over his neatly trimmed beard. Then I’ll quickly drive away, leaving by himself next to a dumpster!
- Kurt Steinberg
Posted by Kurt Steinberg on October 3rd, 2005konichiwa… i hail from the mighty island nation of japan. i am here to sodomize scrrech. i shall use his robot to hold him down if necessary.
Posted by Hitoshi on October 4th, 2005