Star Trek: Nemesis
Directed by: Stuart Baird
Written by: John Logan
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Tom Hardy, Ron Perlman

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Even the Trekkiest of Trekkers has got to admit that Star Trek just ain’t what it used to be. In the decade since his death, Gene Roddenberry’s creation has been methodically run into the ground by producer Rick Berman, who has proven time and again that he has no clue what actually makes Star Trek work.

The transition of The Next Generation cast to the theatrical world hasn’t been a pleasant one; of their 3 feature length films, only one (First Contact) has been deemed somewhat acceptable by most moviegoers. Still, many fans cling desperately to the “even/odd” theory about Star Trek films, which states that the even numbered ones are keepers and the odd numbered ones are forgettable at best. With Star Trek Nemesis scheduled to be the 10th Star Trek movie in sequence, and also touted as the “final voyage” for the Next Generation characters, it looked to be the last glimmering hope for loyal Star Trek followers (the few who are still interested, anyways). It would be nice at least to see the TNG cast go out with a bang, much like they did back in 1994 with the excellent TV series finale, “All Good Things”.

Unfortunately Star Trek Nemesis fails to redeem this dying franchise, in fact, it only adds insult to injury.

This time around we find Will Riker and Deanna Troi predictably about to get married, and the rest of the crew showing little to no development at all in their lives. The Enterprise is unexpectedly called to the planet Romulus to discuss the prospects of peace, where they eventually uncover a plot to destroy the planet Earth… spearheaded by a new Romulan leader named Shinzon who himself is human. How is this possible you ask? Well, it turns out Shinzon is a clone developed from the DNA of none other than Captain Jean-Luc Picard!!! That’s right, he’s bald too!

Screenwriter John Logan has clearly tried to create the ultimate arch-enemy (ie. “nemesis”) for Picard with this character, but Shinzon seems like a cheap knock-off of Kirk’s own nemesis Khan, who was also genetically altered. Picard already has an arch enemy and his name is Q… why hasn’t he appeared in the movies yet? Logan’s mythological good versus evil story worked for Gladiator, but it seems much too simplistic for the world of Star Trek. In the attempt to create a memorable villain, too much time is wasted on trite dialogue and back story, at the expense of action, and at the expense of the rest of the main characters, who are little more than no-name “ensigns” in this movie.

Nemesis was directed by Stuart Baird, who previously helmed U.S. Marshals and Executive Decision. Not exactly the most impressive or relevant resume, but it’s nice to have a real director for once instead of one of the cast members like Jonathan Frakes (who directed the last two movies) or Levar Burton (who supposedly wanted a shot at directing this next one himself). Baird’s experience at least allows him to inject some excitement into the action scenes, even if it’s stuff we’ve seen a million times before. There is an enjoyable scene on the surface of a planet where Picard, Worf and Data are being chased in an all-terrain vehicle. A strange but admittedly interesting thing about this scene is the use of a filter that looks similar to the Mexico scenes in Traffic. Visually and stylistically the movie ain’t half bad, and the special effects and make-up are well done. These things make Nemesis possibly the most cinematic of all the Next Generation movies so far, but that just isn’t enough. Even Star Trek: Insurrection felt more satisfying as far as the cast performances and fun factor.

For example, where was the humour? Star Trek: Nemesis takes itself way too seriously, and although I’m sure the goal was to create a darker tone, it just didn’t seem like anyone was enjoying themselves on screen. The few traces of humour were dry and completely unfunny; in fact, most of the time they just resorted to Data spouting off overly technical information. Even for Star Trek jokes, this was pretty pathetic.

The ending of the movie was also a big disappointment. Something that should have felt heroic and moving just seemed like a wasted afterthought. For the most part, everyone on screen was just going through the motions and nothing in this movie was gripping or memorable at all.

This leaves me wondering what lies ahead for Star Trek. Will Berman finally throw in the towel before he kills Star Trek completely? Recently he stated that this will probably not be the last Star Trek movie. (Yes, all the advertising for Nemesis was completely false…) What Berman doesn’t realize is that the next Star Trek movie will inevitably be an odd-numbered one… and if Nemesis was supposed to be a keeper, I’m not touching Star Trek XI with a ten foot pole. — Sean