Star Trek: Nemesis
Directed by: Stuart Baird
Written by: John Logan
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Tom Hardy, Ron Perlman

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Even the Trekkiest of Trekkers has got to admit that Star Trek just ain’t what it used to be. In the decade since his death, Gene Roddenberry’s creation has been methodically run into the ground by producer Rick Berman, who has proven time and again that he has no clue what actually makes Star Trek work.

The transition of The Next Generation cast to the theatrical world hasn’t been a pleasant one; of their 3 feature length films, only one (First Contact) has been deemed somewhat acceptable by most moviegoers. Still, many fans cling desperately to the “even/odd” theory about Star Trek films, which states that the even numbered ones are keepers and the odd numbered ones are forgettable at best. With Star Trek Nemesis scheduled to be the 10th Star Trek movie in sequence, and also touted as the “final voyage” for the Next Generation characters, it looked to be the last glimmering hope for loyal Star Trek followers (the few who are still interested, anyways). It would be nice at least to see the TNG cast go out with a bang, much like they did back in 1994 with the excellent TV series finale, “All Good Things”.

Unfortunately Star Trek Nemesis fails to redeem this dying franchise, in fact, it only adds insult to injury.

This time around we find Will Riker and Deanna Troi predictably about to get married, and the rest of the crew showing little to no development at all in their lives. The Enterprise is unexpectedly called to the planet Romulus to discuss the prospects of peace, where they eventually uncover a plot to destroy the planet Earth… spearheaded by a new Romulan leader named Shinzon who himself is human. How is this possible you ask? Well, it turns out Shinzon is a clone developed from the DNA of none other than Captain Jean-Luc Picard!!! That’s right, he’s bald too!

Screenwriter John Logan has clearly tried to create the ultimate arch-enemy (ie. “nemesis”) for Picard with this character, but Shinzon seems like a cheap knock-off of Kirk’s own nemesis Khan, who was also genetically altered. Picard already has an arch enemy and his name is Q… why hasn’t he appeared in the movies yet? Logan’s mythological good versus evil story worked for Gladiator, but it seems much too simplistic for the world of Star Trek. In the attempt to create a memorable villain, too much time is wasted on trite dialogue and back story, at the expense of action, and at the expense of the rest of the main characters, who are little more than no-name “ensigns” in this movie.

Nemesis was directed by Stuart Baird, who previously helmed U.S. Marshals and Executive Decision. Not exactly the most impressive or relevant resume, but it’s nice to have a real director for once instead of one of the cast members like Jonathan Frakes (who directed the last two movies) or Levar Burton (who supposedly wanted a shot at directing this next one himself). Baird’s experience at least allows him to inject some excitement into the action scenes, even if it’s stuff we’ve seen a million times before. There is an enjoyable scene on the surface of a planet where Picard, Worf and Data are being chased in an all-terrain vehicle. A strange but admittedly interesting thing about this scene is the use of a filter that looks similar to the Mexico scenes in Traffic. Visually and stylistically the movie ain’t half bad, and the special effects and make-up are well done. These things make Nemesis possibly the most cinematic of all the Next Generation movies so far, but that just isn’t enough. Even Star Trek: Insurrection felt more satisfying as far as the cast performances and fun factor.

For example, where was the humour? Star Trek: Nemesis takes itself way too seriously, and although I’m sure the goal was to create a darker tone, it just didn’t seem like anyone was enjoying themselves on screen. The few traces of humour were dry and completely unfunny; in fact, most of the time they just resorted to Data spouting off overly technical information. Even for Star Trek jokes, this was pretty pathetic.

The ending of the movie was also a big disappointment. Something that should have felt heroic and moving just seemed like a wasted afterthought. For the most part, everyone on screen was just going through the motions and nothing in this movie was gripping or memorable at all.

This leaves me wondering what lies ahead for Star Trek. Will Berman finally throw in the towel before he kills Star Trek completely? Recently he stated that this will probably not be the last Star Trek movie. (Yes, all the advertising for Nemesis was completely false…) What Berman doesn’t realize is that the next Star Trek movie will inevitably be an odd-numbered one… and if Nemesis was supposed to be a keeper, I’m not touching Star Trek XI with a ten foot pole. — Sean

Death From Above - Heads Up
(Ache)

Upon hearing that this 2 piece (drums, bass) consisted of members from Femme Fatale and Black Cat 13, I was prepared for something loud and spazzy. Preparing for something like a Pink & Brown knock off, or a Hella, minus the talent (which isn’t a bad thing). I was totally blown away and thrown off kilter. Less techy and more vocally clear than the above, but definitely loud and gritty like P&B, not so much jerky but more rocky. Does that make sense?

The disc contains 6 tracks that bear the influence from their main priority Femme Fatale (short bursts with weird intro/outro samples) but focuses more on “the rock” and adds on. A dirtier Les Savy Fav sound comes to mind slightly, and throw in the spirit of Adam Ant on vocals. I must give them some love for the crucial use of vocoded lyrics on “Do It (Live)” and hand claps on “My Love Is Shared” (slow down the beginning of this and you got a classic mosh happening).

If I didn’t like Femme Fatale so much, I’d suggest that these 2 dudes make like a tree and leave their group. So definitely pick this up, as DFA will create waves so massive, the blonde girl from Blue Crush will wuss out (yet again). — Clampbot

Clamp’s Trax: Dead Womb, Do It (Live), If I Lose My Friends

8.666 Clamps outta 10

The Muppets - Music, Mayhem and More: The 25th Anniversary Collection
(Rhino)

First off, I’ll say now, the new Muppet Christmas movie sucked. Hard. It was embarrassing watching a special that found it necessary to cut Snoop Dogg from the program because he made a porno movie, yet felt it was okay to feature Miss Piggy portraying the whore role of Moulin Rouge (or as they called it “Moulin Scrooge”). But anyway…

It was with great excitement that I learned of this collection’s release. The Muppets have played a very important role of my young life, and still do today. I’ve got all the movies and specials, and Kermit the Frog stands tall in my room in all his plush glory, and all those McDonalds Muppet Babies toys are lying around somewhere…

The 25th anniversary collection is divided into two sections really. The first half of the disc features themes and music from the original Muppet Show, and the second half is music from their major movie releases the Muppet Movie, Muppet Caper, Muppets Take Manhattan, Christmas Carol, Treasure Island, and Muppets in Space. Most of these songs are already very familiar to me, as when I was around 8 I had a 4 LP set of all these songs from the show, movies, and also Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street. The Muppet Show songs are a little less familiar though, the show not having been run anywhere in syndication in some time. Some of course, are unforgettable, such as “Mahna Mahna” sung by a strange muppet of the same name, and Scooter’s “There’s a New Sound” which I remember was accompanied by a bunch of bizarre images in the background on the show - probably inspired by a bad acid trip. In between songs are some banter from the gang, as well as a Fozzie skit with Kermit, the very funny “Good Grief the Comedians a Bear!” sketch. Also there is commentary from Statler and Waldorf, the two old geezers from the balcony.

The song selections from the movies includes such favorites as “Happiness Hotel”, Gonzo’s “I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” (a new version recorded for the Muppets From Space soundtrack), “Moving Right Along” and of course, “The Rainbow Connection”, which is probably the best Muppet song ever. Each selection on this disc is worthy, some of which are originals, some of which are actually really, really old songs that Jim Henson enjoyed and had originally planned for a different series before the Muppet Show began.

Another treat is the very detailed liner notes about the Muppets’ history, although these notes never wander off from the subject matter of the songs and songwriters themselves. Other Jim Henson shows, projects and specials are not mentioned at all.

The only objection I can make to this disc is the songs that have been left out. Sure, the Muppaphone sketch, the Electric Mayhem’s “Tenderly” and Wayne and Wanda are pretty funny, but wheres Sam the Eagle’s “Tit Willow” and the Swedish Chef theme? How come the saddest Muppet song ever, “Saying Goodbye”, doesn’t get released? And why not include a song or two from Muppet Family Christmas (the best Muppet holiday treat to date)? This release has me yearning for a second volume of goodies, as there really is so much more to dig up. Also, a DVD release featuring each of the tracks would be awesome. I just might have to start one of those stupid online petitions.

Pick this one up for the holidays, and while you’re at it, search out the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album (or dig up the LP, as the new release cuts Rowlf’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”). You’ll be glad you did. - Goon

Solaris
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh
Written by: Stanislaw Lem (novel), Steven Soderbergh (screenplay)
Starring: George Clooney, Natascha McElhone, Jeremy Davies

I still remember seeing a teaser trailer for this movie sometime last year. It was so vague and yet so intriguing, with the names Steven Soderbergh, James Cameron and George Clooney appearing over a slow shot of a space station floating in orbit. It didn’t say at all what this movie was about and yet it said more than enough to get people talking. As the release date approached, some of the new trailers and advertising began to showcase a romance angle, which only made things more puzzling. For a sci-fi movie, they sure weren’t giving us the usual assault of special effects and action sequences.

The truth of the matter is, although Solaris is based in a slightly futuristic setting and takes place aboard a space station, there is apparently little to no science-fiction at work in the movie at all. Solaris, a remake of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1972 film of the same name, is a psychological study plain and simple, a movie that examines human emotions and weaknesses through a painstaking exploration of character. Then again, many people would tell you that is exactly what the best science-fiction stories are all about.

Hollywood has definitely been dipping a little too often into the remake barrel as of late, but do not let this deter you — Solaris is a worthy film nonetheless. Director Steven Soderbergh has already proven with Ocean’s 11 that he can improve upon and breathe new life into his source material; with Solaris he seems to show great reverance for the original, yet does not let that stop him from injecting his own unique vision.

George Clooney is a psychiatrist named Chris Kelvin, who gets a mysterious call from an old friend working on a space station requesting his help. When Kelvin arrives, he finds some of the crew members dead, and others on edge, for reasons he cannot explain. Before long however, he is shocked to find his dead wife (Natascha McElhone) apparently alive and well on the station with them. This leads him to question whether or not what he is seeing is real or imagined, and what he would give to have a second chance in life. The idea is not unlike a pair of somewhat recent movies, Sphere and Event Horizon (which probably borrowed their own ideas from the original Solaris), but in execution this movie more closely resembles Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.

With Soderbergh at the helm, you can rest assured that this movie is a beautiful thing to watch. The cinematography is dreamy and surreal, with a lot of flashback sequences slowly unravelling Chris Kelvin’s life in front of us. Soderbergh really likes to take his time immersing us in the story and putting us in Kelvin’s head, and there are more than a few moments of quiet reflection as the camera basks in the overwhelming spectacle of outer space. The tense yet mesmerizing score by Cliff Martinez also deserves credit for pulling the viewer into this movie and setting the atmosphere.

The acting is really where this movie shines however. The actors all give amazing, yet subtle performances, and the movie depends on them to keep it from spinning off into pretentiousness. Jeremy Davies brings a typical understated performance to the screen as the spaced-out engineer Snow, whose quirky mannerisms bring the only hint of comic relief to the sombre production.

George Clooney really carries the entire movie, however, and his charisma and talents successfully bring the human elements out of the story. Again and again, Clooney has chosen to step out and take risks with his career, and this is another example of the man’s keen eye for high quality projects (and his fondness for working with Steven Soderbergh.)

In the end, Solaris leaves much open to interpretation, and never once spells anything out for its audience. The end result is a movie that will be a masterpiece to some, and a snoozefest for others. Although I enjoyed Solaris, I do think that a fairly simple story was stretched out a little too long and a little too far here. I felt a need for more plot twists and more heightened suspense to drive it along. Then again, maybe these were just superficial expectations on my part. Soderbergh’s version of Solaris is much more compact than the original, and he should be commended simply for finding a way to make this movie more accessible without resorting to cheap thrills and gunfights. — Sean