Austin Powers In Goldmember
Directed by: Jay Roach
Written by: Mike Myers, Michael McCullers
Starring: Mike Myers, Michael Caine, Beyoncé Knowles, Seth Green

It’s a real shame to see a funny joke get stretched beyond its limits, and I must admit, I was under the impression that the potential humour of the Austin Powers movies had already been exhausted by the second film. The budgets get higher, and the advertising campaigns get more extravagant, but the humour just gets more repetitive, and more low brow. I found myself asking, do we really need another Austin Powers movie? But I guess as long as Hollywood needs another cash cow, we’re going to get part 3, whether the joke is dead or not. (Incidentally, the popularity of The Spy Who Shagged Me would seem to indicate that the Austin Powers schtick is in fact still very much alive for most people, much to my bewilderment.)

One must not forget, however, that Mike Myers has a history of proven comedic genius (he is Canadian, after all) and watching the first Austin Powers movie again reminded me of just how many classic jokes it contained. So maybe, just maybe, I was jumping to the wrong conclusion in thinking that the third Austin Powers flick would be a complete dud…

Austin Powers In Goldmember has basically the same team behind it as the other two movies did. It was directed by Jay Roach, written by Mike Myers (with some help from a guy named Michael McCullers — an old SNL acquaintance), and stars Mike Myers himself in no less than 4 roles this time around. The new addition to his repertoire is the movie’s secondary villain Goldmember, an odd Dutchman with peeling skin, extremely flexible legs, and a golden “package”, which he obtained through an unfortunate (?) smelting accident. He is building a tractor beam which Dr. Evil has somehow managed to name “Preparation H”, and together they are hoping to use it to flood the earth. (I’ll be honest, the movie’s plot is not one of its stronger points… I could barely remember that much about it.)

The movie brings back everyone’s favourite wacky characters including Dr. Evil’s rebellious son Scott (Seth Green), his one-eyed second-in-command Number Two (Robert Wagner), and his miniscule clone Mini-Me (Verne Troyer). New faces include Beyoncé Knowles of Destiny’s Child fame, who plays Austin’s female sidekick for the movie (a blaxploitation tribute named Foxxy Cleopatra), Michael Caine in a clever role as Austin’s father, Nigel Powers, and of all people, Fred Savage as a one-joke wonder, the “mole” known as Number Three. (The one joke wonder part is not his fault, mind you.)

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, to say the least. Though it is not hysterical, it is genuinely funny a lot of the time, and that’s all you can really ask for. The amount of gross out humour was a little more within acceptable limits this time (thankfully Fat Bastard only makes a few short appearances… he’s better in small doses), and although there were some running gags that I have grown tired of, there were more than enough creative and truly witty jokes to make up for the redundancy. Sometimes the extent that Myers will go for a single one-liner is so crazy that it’s funny in itself (ie. calling a company Roboto Industries just so he can deliver a line from the Styx song).

Regarding Myers’ new character Goldmember… well, he proves that he can talk with yet another quirky accent, but other than that I think they could have come up with something a little more outlandish. Some people may be a little taken aback by the Dutch jokes that are made at Goldmember’s expense. Myself, being part Dutch, I didn’t find them offensive… but I didn’t find them all that funny either (although Michael Caine’s line about the only 2 things in the world that he hates was priceless). The least they could have done is made fun of how Dutch people are cheap, because they are, and I would have been more than willing to chuckle at that.

There were a lot of pop culture references, and a ridiculous number of cameos (Steven Spielberg, Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, and the Osbournes, to name a few), which will probably date the film a few years from now. This is not to say they were all cheap jokes… in fact, the “Hollywood” movie adaptation of Austin Powers’ life was one of the most memorable parts of the entire film, and I’m sure it’s the part that everyone will be talking about afterwards.

As with the other Austin Powers movie, some of the biggest laughs just come from the ridiculous images we’re presented with… Dr. Evil and Mini-Me sporting bandanas and rapping in prison, the “shadow puppet” segment, and what we assume to be Steven Spielberg doing cartwheels during an Austin Powers dance routine are a couple of the moments that have been positively captured in my mind after viewing this flick.

So does the Austin Powers franchise deserve to live on? Well, in my mind they have redeemed themselves a little bit from the last outing, and that is a good thing, but I still don’t think that there is enough substance left to make another worthwhile film. Quit while you’re ahead, that’s what I say! Unfortunately, if this movie banks nicely, we could easily see a fourth Austin Powers adventure in the not too distant future, and once again, I will have my doubts. But what do I know, it could turn out again to be a pleasant surprise. I just hope that Mike Myers knows what he’s doing. — Sean

Donnie Darko
Written and Directed by: Richard Kelly
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Mary McDonnell, Patrick Swayze, Drew Barrymore, Noah Wyle

Strange, mysterious, and, well, dark… this is the world of Donnie Darko. The movie doesn’t completely make sense, but it’s still a pretty fun mindbender anyways.

To put it simply, Donnie Darko is about an emotionally unstable teenager who begins having delusions of a demonic rabbit named Frank. Frank seems to think that the world is going to end very soon, and that Donnie needs to do his bidding in order to avoid impending doom. Donnie begins to notice connections between his visions and things that happen in his everyday life, and slowly the line between dream and reality becomes blurred. This builds up a number of compelling questions that do not get fully answered until the movie’s climactic ending. (Or do they?)

Donnie Darko is the debut film by director Richard Kelly, and you can kind of tell that it is his first full length movie. A lot of thought and effort went into Donnie Darko, but at times it’s like Kelly is trying a bit too hard. For example, there are a lot of references to other films, some of which are subtle and cool (like the E.T. parallels at the end), while others just seem a little bit too forced, like the screening of Evil Dead in a theatre.

The movie stars Jake Gyllenhaal who some may know from the wacky comedy Bubble Boy, but he seems like a totally different person here… soft-spoken, sarcastic, with an evil smirk permanently etched on his face. Sometimes he overdoes it a little, but for the most part I enjoyed his performance. It is interesting to note that Donnie’s sister in the movie is played by Jake’s real-life sister, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Their natural chemistry, along with believable acting from Mary McDonnell, Holmes Osborne, and Daveigh Chase make the Darko family seem very real indeed.

If you’ll allow me to make a strange observation here, I found that Donnie Darko reminded me of the movie Magnolia in a number of ways. The slow, methodical pace of the film, the quirky humour, and the careful camera work are all reminiscent of P.T. Anderson’s movie. There are also segments in both movies where an entire song plays as events seem to happen in slow motion on screen. The randomness of the plane engine falling from the sky in Donnie Darko is not unlike the frogs falling in Magnolia. And of course, Patrick Swayze’s motivational speaker can’t help but remind one of Tom Cruise’s role as Frank T.J. Mackey.

Yes, you heard that right, Patrick Swayze is actually in this movie. There are a couple other odd appearances in Donnie Darko in fact… Noah Wyle of E.R. fame plays Donnie’s physics teacher, and Drew Barrymore plays an English teacher. Unfortunately, Drew Barrymore is one of the weaker points of the film, as she is not a very convincing dramatic actress. Alas, her production company was responsible for bringing Donnie Darko to the big screen, so I suppose she had to stick her nose in there somewhere.

The DVD is loaded with special features that give hours of additional enjoyment. Two full audio commentary tracks, plus 20 deleted/extended scenes with optional director commentary are the real highlights, but there is also the Mad World music video directed by Richard Kelly (nothing special to be honest), the full text of the Philosophy of Time Travel book seen in the movie, Swayze’s Cunning Visions infomercials, art and production stills, and some hidden easter eggs as well.

The most interesting thing about Donnie Darko is the way that it incorporates bizarre, X-Files type sci-fi concepts into what would otherwise be an edgy teen drama filled with dark humour. The few instances where special effects are used are understated yet exciting, and the whole movie keeps your stomach knotted with suspense just like a good X-Files episode does. The problem is that the movie’s finale doesn’t entirely pay off.

If you are frustrated by films that do not lay everything out clearly, then Donnie Darko is probably not your cup of tea. This movie is definitely for people who enjoy delving into symbolism and meaning in movies… the thing is, any attempts to truly understand this movie will probably only leave you with more questions. Listening to the audio commentary with the director muddies the water further, as Kelly often gives the impression that he was just trying to be weird and cryptic without any unifying purpose behind the work.

Despite these issues, I still found Donnie Darko to be original and intriguing, and I have already watched it a couple of times simply for the style, atmosphere and the humour that it contains. Even if there can be no feasible explanation to the events in the movie, there is still that illusion of something hidden beneath the surface that urges me to watch it again and again. And if creating such an illusion isn’t the mark of an adept filmmaker, then I don’t know what is. — Sean

…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Source Tags and Codes
(Interscope)

It’s easy to be put off by the buzz that this band has been generating this year. Between the endless comparisons to Sonic Youth, their tired reputation for smashing their instruments after live performances, and the whispered predictions about them being the next big thing since At The Drive-In, it’s hard to know what to think. This may even be one of the reasons why I have taken so long to write this review. But if you want the honest truth, well let me tell you… from the instant I threw this album on, it was everything I had hoped it would be, and more.

One complaint I’ve always had about the Trail Of Dead is that their previous albums were kind of hit and miss. There were some really good songs, and some forgettable songs. Many of the songs sounded the same. And there were a lot of really noisy songs. This time around with the help of major label funding, they have managed to engineer with the perfect balance to their music and record a masterpiece.

On one hand Source Tags & Codes appears to be the most catchy and melodic album they’ve written to date; there is more effort made to actually sing, as opposed to simply screaming or muttering unintelligibly. Also, the production of the album is such that the underlying melodies of the songs really shine through. Even when it gets noisy, the noise is controlled and used in clever ways. Songs like “Relative Ways” and “Baudelaire” are ingenious in their simplicity and also in the restraint that they exhibit. The tunes sound vaguely familiar, and yet also unpredictable and exciting. Then you’ve got songs like “Homage” and “Days Of Being Wild”, which are basically straight ahead punk rock songs, and they still sound every bit as raw and chaotic as they should despite the glossy production.

The Sonic Youth influence is definitely here, but I am also reminded of The Pixies and The Cure along the way. Source Tags & Codes has a kind of timeless feel to it. I can’t describe it really, maybe it’s just the “spiritual” feel that permeates the songs, but they really get under your skin, and they keep getting better with each listen. Take a song like Monsoon, with its soaring vocals and spacey, orchestral ending… as cheesy as it sounds, it takes you on a journey. In fact, this is what the entire album does as a whole. The title track that closes the out the album floats along on melancholy waves of distortion, vocal harmonies and faint strains of piano and strings… another example of the band’s maturity, resisting the urge to simply erect a wall of noise, and it leaves no question that the album you’ve just heard is indeed something special.

This is one of those records that I know I will still be listening to 10 or 15 years from now. It’s worth checking out, even if you never thought much of these guys to begin with. — Sean

Hot Hot Heat - Scenes One Through Thirteen
(Ohev)

These B.C. boys have been garnering many favourable reviews with their new 5 song E.P. on Sub Pop Records, but this cd collects recordings from an earlier incarnation of the band that sounds almost entirely different.

The major difference you will notice among these 13 songs is that there is no guitar to be found anywhere. On these songs, Hot Hot Heat consists of a keyboard player, bassist, singer and drummer (ex. d.b.s. drummer Paul Hawley, incidentally), and the effect is basically what you might expect from a screamo band using keyboards in place of guitars. They take cues from aggressive, keyboard-driven bands like The Locust and The VSS, molding them into their own style. There is certainly no trace of the mod/rock n roll feel that their newer material has; the music is simply raw, edgy and evil-sounding.

As you can tell by the album title, there are 13 tracks on here, but they are taken from 2 separate recording sessions. The second session, which makes up the last 5 songs on the album, is somewhat lacking in sound quality. Fortunately, most of the standout tracks come from the first session anyways, particularly the sinister synthesizer sounds of “The Case That They Gave Me” and “Keep My Name Out Of Your Mouth”.

The band has clearly matured a fair amount since these songs were written, and their new E.P. is a much more solid outing. However, there’s still something to be said for the youthful energy and unique noise captured on this disc. I do think though, that if there was a little more melody in these songs they would much more listenable as a whole. — Sean

Survivor: The Interactive Game (PC)
Developed by: Magic Lantern Playware
Published by: Infogrames

The things I do in the name of journalism are sometimes nothing short of courageous… or masochistic, depending on how you look at it.

Recently I forced myself to sit down and play a few games of Infogrames’ Survivor: The Interactive Game, just so I could bring you the ultimate, no holds barred truth. Unfortunately, it really is as bad as everyone says it is. I received the game for Christmas last year and almost 6 months later I finally got around to installing it on my PC (and only now because I happen to have some free time on my hands). I knew it was going to be bad… but believe me, it is downright painful.

Once again, another potentially cool game idea has gone to waste. This could have been a new twist on The Sims, where you control your character’s social interactions, but also occasionally compete in events. If they went on-line with it, they could have added a whole new dimension to the game, by allowing competition and collaboration with real humans. (Apparently there is a multiplayer mode, but you have to set up your own game — there is no way to search for existing on-line games.) Anyways, they just took this game licence and flushed it down the toilet, by assuming it will sell based on the name alone (which I guess it probably did).

Here’s how the game works: you choose your character from some of the participants in the first two Survivor shows, or you can create your own. There are a number of different attributes you can tweak, such as assertiveness, strength, and “empathy”, but I really doubt if they make much of a difference at all.

The part of the game that takes up the most time (and also what makes makes this game the most unplayable) is what they call the “survival period”. During this time, you are forced to wander aimlessly around camp striking up conversations with different survivors using a limited number of phrases like “How am I doing?”, “What do you miss most?” and “(Insert name here) is on edge”. At the beginning of each survival period you choose which role you want to perform within the tribe… for example, Fire Tender, Hunting/Fishing or Cook. There are only 6 different roles to choose from, so I assume the rest of the tribe members are just sitting around on their ass doing nothing. Apparently you must choose your role quickly to avoid being one of these slackers, but you have at least 10 seconds or so to click on one of the roles. Pretty intense. The survival periods last three full minutes, and they are extremely boring.

Now, apparently, the survival period is what determines how other tribe members feel towards you, but there is no way to implement any sort of coherent strategy here. I talked gibberish with all of the different tribe members and seemed to work up friendships with everyone according to my “Emotional Energy Meters”, and then I was the first one to get voted off. I have no idea why. The least they could do is tell you what you did wrong.

Well, even if the plotting and scheming is confusing, at least some of the events could be fun to compete in, right? Wrong.

The most amusing thing about the immunity and reward challenges are the terrible rhymes that make up your “tree-mail” message. For example, “The squares are a jumble/But with a squeak and a rumble/You can unmix the mixture/ To make a nice picture”. Now that’s poetry.

The events themselves are either boring, difficult to control, or both. For instance, one event was a slingshot challenge where you had to shoot at various targets as your character moves around an obstacle course. It was virtually impossible to hit the moving targets since they don’t actually display the projectiles that you are shooting — meaning there is no way to judge distance or timing. I’m not sure how many different events there are in the game, but I had no desire to keep playing in order to find out.

To make things worse, the game locked up my computer on more than one occasion. It was hard enough to bring myself to load up the game once or twice to try it out, but when it frequently crashes on you it makes the decision to avoid the game altogether that much easier.

Now, here is the real kicker: I only chose to play a “quick” game, but there are settings for even longer, full out Survivor games, to the point where you are playing a total of 13 rounds. All I can say to that is, if you really do make it through to the end of the game, you probably deserve at least a million dollars, if not more. This game bites. — Sean

Men In Black II
Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld
Written by:
Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Patrick Warburton, Rip Torn, Lara Flynn Boyle

There was good reason to have faith in Men In BlackII. It has been long enough for the general public toassume that the creators of the hugely successful 1997film would have taken their time to ensure that anysequel would live up to and possibly surpass theoriginal.

But how soon we forget that since the original,director Barry Sonnenfeld has given us Wild Wild Westand Big Trouble, both loathed by critics andmoviegoers alike, and death at the box office.

Men in Black II, bluntly, is a pointless film thatfails to deliver excitement or laughter. Much likethe disaster that was Wild Wild West, the team behindthe film finds it more important to focus on theeffects and gadgetry than the clever wit and chemistryof Jones/Smith that drove the first film.

I cant necessarily tell you what happens in thismovie, as the plot of whats behind the earthsimpending destruction was left unclear, and the enemyis a very inept team of Lara Flynn Boyle and Johnny”Jackass” Knoxville. Neither are very threatening,interesting, or funny, but simply a vehicle to displayextra heads and tenticles that extend from theirbodies.

The laughs just aren’t there in this film. The humorhas been watered down to Austin Powers type levels,pandering to the dumber section of the audience (WhoLet the Dogs Out jokes, etc.).

The only saving graces of MIB II are a few Jones/Smithexchanges, and cameos from Patrick “the Tick”Warburton , Tony Shalhoub, and Mr. Show’s David Cross. Jones is vastly underused in the movie, unexpectedly.

Overall, MIB II is a huge disappointment, and this iscoming from someone who has defended much loathedsequels such as Waynes World II and Bill and TedsBogus Journey. Taking a quick look around the ‘net,and I see I am not alone. Looks like within a fewyears MIB II will either be forgotten or yet anotherlesson to Hollywood about what not to do. — The Goon