Spider-Man
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Written by: David Koepp, Stan Lee, Steve Ditko
Starring: Toby Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe

Where do you start with a review of Spiderman? This is a movie that comic book fans have been waiting for decades to see, and to say that it was overhyped would be the understatement of the year. Still, there was something that told me that the hype was well-founded. I mean, the film was directed by Sam Raimi, and that alone has got to make it worth sitting in the very front row of a packed theatre on opening night, right? Hmm.. now I’m not so sure.

My 5 second review of the film, is as follows: cheesy, fun, but not particularly memorable. If you want my 5 minute review of the film, then read on…

The first thing that struck me about this film is the fact that it has much more in common with the Superman films than it does the Batman, Blade or X-Men films. What do I mean by that? It’s not dark or edgy in any way.. it’s bright, colourful, and extremely corny. Is that a good thing? I guess that depends what you’re looking for. Granted, a dark, modernized version of Spiderman probably would have been lame, and at least they stayed true to the world of Spiderman, but somehow it just felt like something was missing. There was no sense of urgency, no real danger, and nothing to drive the story forward. I found it difficult to actually feel for the characters. One thing that has always been important to Spiderman is the soap-opera side of Peter Parker’s life and in the movie this gets just as much, if not more attention than the life of Spiderman. Unfortunately, the characters didn’t seem like real people. I don’t blame this on the acting, which was top notch for the most part (particularly Willem Dafoe), I think I just blame it on the dialogue, which was painful to watch at times. It wouldn’t have been so bad if they had toned down the Mary Jane love story… but again, this is an important part of Spiderman and it can’t be left out either.

I have been surprised thus far with all the positive criticism that the movie has received, and I can’t quite understand it. I would think that no matter how good a film like this is, there will always been a legion of hardcore naysayers who are just sitting and waiting to complain about it. But no, apparently everyone loves it, which leads me to one of two conclusions: either this is a great movie, or everyone really wants it to be a great movie. Most likely a little bit of both, I’d say.

It all depends on how much you are willing to buy into the Spiderman character. If you are a big Spiderman fan, you already have a weakness for the guy, and you want to root from him right from the get go. For myself, I needed to be won over a little bit more, and I don’t think I ever really was. Spiderman is supposed to deliver smart-ass jokes whenever he is battling baddies, but in this version, he doesn’t talk very much, so we lose one of his most endearing characteristics. As for Peter Parker, he was almost too much of a shy, awkward loser to even be likeable.

The action scenes move too quickly (which was probably a strategic decision to try and hide all of the computer animation being used), and the other scenes move too slowly. There needed to be more balance here. The costumes looked okay when the characters were zooming around on screen, but when you actually see them standing there among real people, they look like something out of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. (It doesn’t help that Spiderman’s mouth doesn’t move when he talks.)

On the other hand, fans of Sam Raimi should be pleased with Spider-man.The direction by Raimi is pretty solid, and his style fits well with the movie. His patented camera movement and unique use of odd camera angles energize the film, and draw us in. You may find many scenes reminiscent of his other superhero film, Darkman. There are also appearances from many of Raimi’s friends including Bruce Campbell, Scott Spiegel, and Sam’s brother Ted, not to mention the car that was used in The Evil Dead.

I think my biggest problem with this film is the fact that it just feels like it’s all been done before. This is obviously one of the dangers of doing a superhero film, but all of the story elements are just so cliched, and the characters just seem like… well, like cartoon characters. The nerd who has a crush on the popular girl next door… the nerd who gets terrorized by the girl’s boyfriend, who just happens to be the school bully.. the nerd who eventually gets his revenge and wins the girl over. Then there’s the rich tycoon/scientific genius, who loses his job and turns into an insane supervillain. One thing that was never really explained was why The Green Goblin hated Spiderman so much. All it took was for Spiderman to interfere with him once, and suddenly the Goblin was obsessed with killing him. Sure the guy is crazy, but it just seemed like the writers got lazy. The ending in particular was quite baffling. I enjoyed the fact that they didn’t go for the easy, happy ending, but given the circumstances, the happy ending would have seemed much more feasible.

Even the score by Danny Elfman felt like it has been done before. There was nothing distinctive about it, nothing that set it apart from the hundreds of other movies he has written music for. Oh well, at least they didn’t resort to playing Aerosmith’s version of the Spiderman theme song during the movie (although there is a brief performance by Macy Gray for some unknown reason).

Now you might say that Spiderman is one of the original superheroes, that all the others are copycats. This may be true, but this is exactly why they shouldn’t have waited so damn long to make a Spiderman movie in the first place! Back in the 80’s, this film would have been perfect, but it just feels out of place in the year 2002. Kids who have grown up with Spiderman are now older, and they want more mature storylines and more realistic characters. The comic has changed and adapted over the years, but this movie just seems like a cheesy relic from the past.

To their credit, they did get many of the characters right, especially J. Jonah Jameson, and overall this movie is a lot of eye candy that you don’t want to miss. The scenes where he is just discovering his powers are great, and the wrestling scene with Macho Man Randy Savage was pretty amusing, but the second part of the film let me down. There wasn’t enough to make me go out of my way to see the film again. When I think back on it, there is nothing that stands out, and nothing that will make this a movie milestone that will be remembered in the years to come. What can I say? It’s not a bad movie, it just didn’t wow me like I expected it to.

The thing I’m worried about is that if Spider-Man felt cliched and run-of-the-mill, what’s going to happen when The Hulk, Daredevil and all these other upcoming comic book films are released? The market is going to be flooded, watered down, and interest will quickly wane. The success of Spider-Man does not bode well for the future, but I guess you can’t blame Hollywood for flogging a dead horse as long as people continue to ride it.

Disclaimer: Sitting in the front row of the theatre may have had an adverse effect on my impressions of this film, or at least on my chiropractic health.– Sean