Bubble Boy (DVD)
Directed by: Blair Hayes
Written by: Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Swoosie Kurtz, Marley Shelton, Danny Trejo

It was with hesitation I decided to rent this theother night. One one hand a friend of mine recommendedit highly, on the other hand, I remembered all the oneliners and bad reviews, and protests this movie hadthis past summer when it was released. “This bubbleneeds to be popped” I think is the little blurb you’llfind on the IMDB.

It turns out that people are stupid. Stupid stupidstupid. Because “Bubble Boy” turns out to be probablyone of the most underrated films I’ve seen in a goodlong while. That isn’t to say its perfect, but thereis plenty to be liked in this sweet little film.

Now first I might add a disclaimer, and I imagine morethan anything, this is where the venom against thismovie comes from. It makes fun of Christianiy - aLOT. It takes jabs at several religions actually ifyou look at it at face value, but specifically theonly commentary the film makes is againstChristianity. But more on that later.

The film is about a young boy named Jimmy (JakeGyllenhaal - “October Sky”) who is born without animmune system. As the title gives away, he lives inhis home in a giant plastic bubble. He is raised by aoverly protective religious mother (Swoosie Kurtz -”Sisters”) who gives him Jesus fish protein cookiesand reads him fairy tales with altered endings. “…and then he left his bubble and died” is a typicalfinale.

Jimmy is taunted by the neighborhood kids most of his childhood, and he bides his time playing guitar and watching “Land of the Lost”, until he hits puberty and notices the girl next door, Chloe (Marley Shelton - “Valentine”). She is pretty much the only person who accepts him as he is, and theres a quick little teen love montage that shows how they grow together.

As Chloe grows up however, its become apparent thatshe cant really be with Jimmy if he’s stuck in abubble, and reluctantly ends up engaged to on-againoff-again jerk boyfriend Mark (Dave Sheridan, mostrecently remembered as “Doug” from “Ghost World” aswell as “Doofy” in Scary Movie. He’s also starring inthe upcoming “Frank McClusky C.I.”). They’re off toNiagara Falls to get married.

Of course, this sets Jimmy into action, and he putstogether a bubble suit so he can leave his home forthe first time and travel to Niagara Falls to stop thewedding. As is with most road movies, this is wherethe fun begins.

What follows can only be compared to “Pee-Wee’s BigAdventure” and a little bit of “UHF” in spirit. Thereis a fair share of slapstick in the bubble suit, andthis is where I imagine a lot of critics stepped in. Iimagine they felt inappropriate giving acclaim to amovie with so many protests against it. They see themovie as making fun of the bubble suit, when reallyits just an angle to give someone an outsider/underdogstatus, as well as teach a lesson. The bubble isimportant to Jimmys character in the same way scissorsare necessary for Edward Scissorhands.

Like all road movies, a lot of comedy comes from thepeople Jimmy meets along the way. First is a cult ledby Fabio called “Bright and Shiny” that think Jimmy istheir messiah, the Round One. All the members of thecult offer each other Kool Aid and are all named Toddand Lorraine. Their song is catchy enough to warrant asing along feature on the DVD and I might just have tofind an MP3 of it. Theres a stranded biker named Slim(Danny Trejo - “Spy Kids”, “From Dusk Till Dawn”), agroup of freaks led by Dr. Phreak (Verne Troyer akaMini-Me) and a Hindu ice cream & curry salesman namedPushpop (Brian George - “Ghost World”), whose truck islike some sort of mobile shrine. All the while, muchlike in “Sesame Streets Follow that Bird”, Jimmy isalso being trailed by his mother and his father (JohnCarrol Lynch , who played Norm “Sonuva” Gunderson in”Fargo”). Of course, eventually Jimmy gets to NiagaraFalls, and we get a happy ending with plenty of funnycurtain calls to see where all the characters end up.

The general message of the film has to do with parentsbeing overprotective from the “evils of the world” aswell as how many people try to use handicapped peopleas their poster boys. Whats ironic is that of all thepeople in the film, Jimmy is the most likable andopen-minded. Despite all the junk his mother teacheshim, he is friendly and happy to everyone, despite allthe races, religions, ages and appearances of those hemeets. In one redneck town for example, he stands upfor a Hindu man being harassed by people who arereally exactly like his mother.

This brings us back to the religion bashing. Morethan anything, I think the movie takes shots at thosewho use Christianity or any other religion as a frontfor hate and intolerance. The movie never attacksreligious teachings but the people who abuse it fortheir own purpose. Anyone who would be offended by the anti-religious content of the film might just be one of the people who are using their faith the wrong way. By the looks of other reviews and comments on the IMDB, it seems people haven’t thought too much about that. People should also pay attention to the fact that despite all the types of people Jimmy meets and the fights they have with each other, at the end of the film they are all together, partying and friendly with one another. I really have to damn the critics about this film. Its rare that a critic actually gives any thought to a comedy. They take them for face value and spew out hate filled reviews that are as intolerant and thoughtless as the same characters this film critiques. This movie is at its heart, a sweet comedy with some underlying social commentary, but our overly PC country would rather be offended by everything, shooting first and asking questions later. Its a crying shame.

The DVD contains some good behind the scenes stuff,including a directors log, production design,storyboard roughs, and a really good commentary track.I find some the best commentary tracks come frompeople who have a repore with each other, like BradPitt and David Fincher, or Kevin Smith and BenAffleck. Jake Gyllenhaal and director Blair Hayes arevery happy, friendly guys who get into a lot of theissues around the film and give a lot of goodinformation. I’d rank it among the best commentarytracks I’ve heard. It actually has replay value. Surprisingly no deleted scenes, as I’ve heard there isa different version of the film out there with somerunning gags about the human waste mechanism in thebubble suit. Not that I’m really interested in that anyways. — The Pretentious Goon

Blair Witch Project 2: The Book Of Shadows
Directed by: Joe Berlinger
Written by: Joe Berlinger and Dick Beebe
Starring: Stephen Barker Turner, Tristine Skyler, Erica Leerhsen, Kim Director

Okay, how can I break this to you gently? The Blair Witch Project 2 is not as bad as you think it is. It is probably even worse. It is a total cash in/sell out. There is nothing worthwhile about it, it is just a ploy to grab your money.

I’m sure there will be people who say that at least this one is better than the Blair Witch movie. Oh man, don’t even start. I’m going to avoid a messy rant about why the original Blair Witch Project WAS good, but if you try and tell me that BWP2 was even slightly worthwhile, I will probably kick you.

The backdrop of the story is that all these people living near Burkittsville have decided to capitalize on the popularity of the movie by starting up tours of the woods.

A group of kids go out into the woods on one of these tours, party, get drunk, and then end up having strange hallucinations for the rest of the movie. Once that starts happening, it’s basically game over (for both the characters and the movie itself). It’s really just a jumble of chaos and confusion.

There are a lot of confusing cuts back to interview scenes with police officers questioning them about things, as well as confusing shots of images that the characters were seeing in their minds, or things that we are supposed to assume actually happened. I suppose the movie is trying to make you wonder what is real and what is not, but it very quickly becomes overkill.

Director Joe Berlinger is a well known documentary director, and I guess they hoped that his documentary experience would help recreate the feel of the first Blair Witch Project. Strangely enough, it did not help accomplish this at all. I don’t think it’s really his fault though. I don’t think he was even sure what kind of movie they were trying to make in the first place.

At times it seems like they try to maintain the gritty realism of the original movie, but then they go and ruin it by making cheesy pop culture references and by reminding us that the first Blair Witch Project was only a movie, and didn’t actually happen. In fact, from the very start of the movie, BWP2 takes a very odd comedic tone, as if it is mocking the first movie. This totally ruins the original. They should never have gone with an approach like this. They should have been adding to the mythology of the Blair Witch rather than debunking it.

All the characters in BWP2 use names that are almost identical to the actors’ real names. This is a perfect example of a completely trivial tidbit that they borrowed from Blair Witch 1. They must have thought this would help with the authenticity, but unlike in the first movie, the actors are not improvising, and unlike the first movie, the actors are horrible.

In this movie, the actors are so non-authentic and deliver such bad dialogue that you actually want to see them get killed. The earlier they get killed, the better. I have to admit, the redneck cops in the movie were pretty amusing, however, there were way too many stereotypical characters for my liking. Take the “goth” chick for example, who happens to have this unexplained psychic ability. They even stooped to a cheesy Nine Inch Nails reference if I remember correctly. What is this, Dawson’s Creek or something? They also try to make this movie seem all modern and hip with frequent references to the internet, e-mail and E-bay. It was pretty painful to watch.

They made an attempt to repeat the cliffhanger ending of the first movie, but it totally fell flat on its face, mainly because there was nothing to leave hanging this time around. The entire movie is confusing, so you’re not wondering what happened to the characters at the end, you’re wondering what the hell happened, period.

I really just have one question: what the hell is the Book of Shadows? There is no Book of Shadows mentioned anywhere in the movie. You know that the movie is a total sham when the title was just some randomly chosen phrase that the producers figured “sounded cool”. Hell, the title of the movie was probably the first thing they chose.

I would have preferred a complete reworking of the first movie more than I enjoyed this piece of garbage. Obviously the original creators were not involved in this movie, and now they must be totally crying over what Hollywood did to their film. Crying all the way to the bank anyways. Yuck, this movie just disgusted me. — Sean

V/A - Rock Music: A Tribute To Weezer
(Deaddroid)

Tribute albums can be tricky things (particularly when the band being worshipped is still together), but the people at Deaddroid Records knew they had a very juicy idea with their Weezer tribute. After all, who doesn’t like Weezer? Just about any band would jump at the opportunity to record their favourite Weezer song, and the terminally obsessive Weezer fans in turn would be virtually guaranteed to buy, buy, buy!

Weezer themselves threw a bit of a monkeywrench into Deaddroid’s plans by announcing their comeback and subsequently releasing The Green Album. The gears, however, were already in motion, and work on the compilation continued, despite the apparent irony of Weezer’s triumphant return. Finally, after two long years of preparation, the end product is upon us. Behold… Rock Music: A Tribute To Weezer.

Now I find myself wondering, if this compilation was such a good idea to begin with, then why does the music on it seem so dull and uninspired? The answer may lie in the fundamental paradox of recording cover songs in general. Attempting to emulate the sound of the original artist is a futile effort as you will inevitably fall short of the mark. Nothing can top the originals, at least not in the minds of the fans. However, if you try to put a different spin on a song, you also risk alienating the fans by diverging too far from the comforting sound of the original.

In the case of Weezer, the beauty of the songs are their simplicity, and any attempt to add more complex instrumentation will surely end up sounding very pretentious. For example, Elliott’s mellow piano ballad version of The World Has Turned And Left Me Here is almost unrecognizable, and ultimately just sounds goofy. Then there is Affinity’s seething rendition of My Name Is Jonas which is equally laughable, irrefutable evidence that Weezer’s pop melodies do not translate into the language of screaming hardcore vocals. The most questionable song on the album comes courtesy of the band My Complex, who basically butcher Tired Of Sex with their shaky and seemingly inexplicable shifts in timing.

Such “experimental” contributions seem to be the exception to the rule, however. Most of the songs on this compilation keep true to the originals, for better or for worse. In fact, some are almost note for note replications, like Piebald’s No One Else, and Further Seems Forever’s Say It Ain’t So. I’m sure these songs were a lot of fun for the bands to record, but personally, if I want to hear a Weezer song being played note for note, I will just listen to Weezer thank you very much. Perhaps part of the problem is that most of the bands on this cd are “emotional” power-pop bands that are heavily influenced by Weezer in the first place.

I think the most successful songs on this cd are the ones that incorporate the band’s own unique style, such as Grade’s raw version of Surf Wax America and Dashboard Confessional’s acoustic reworking of Jamie (originally found on the DGC Rarities compilation). They just seem to work. Also, The Stereo’s quirky performance of the already quirky El Scorcho is fun, and The Good Life, as played by The Impossibles is pretty decent too.

For the most part, though, this compilation is little more than a novelty (as most tribute albums are).There was some potential for a great album here. Even though Weezer are back together again, their first two albums have already somehow become timeless classics, forever etched into the annals of rock. Rivers himself has said that when they play songs from The Blue Album in concert, it feels like they are playing covers of rock anthems that were written by someone else. Well, we may have to wait until Weezer breaks up for good before someone else takes a stab at another Weezer tribute album, but until then, at least we have the best Weezer cover band in the world to keep us happy.– Sean

The Dears - Nor The Dahlias (1995-1998)
(Grenadine)

Contractual obligations are a bitch. Sometimes bands will do just about anything to get out of their contract, even if it means selling themselves short. They will release EPs, live albums, greatest hits packages or sometimes even the dreaded b-sides/rarities compilation. Granted, some bands release some of their best material through b-side compilations, but on the other hand, some bands just end up releasing a series of mediocre, poorly recorded songs that really didn’t deserve to see the light of day in the first place.

In the case of Montreal’s hip avante-garde pop ensemble, The Dears, the latter case would seem to ring true. It’s not that the music from Nor The Dahlias is terrible, it’s just that it really have very little to do with The Dears as they exist in their current incarnation. I believe Murray Lightburn is the only current member of the band who participated in the writing and recording of these older songs, and he certainly wears his brit-pop influences on his sleeves here. The first half of the album sees him doing his best Morrissey impression as the band provides lo-fi Smiths-esque accompaniment. Then about halfway through the album, keyboards and synthesizers enter the picture and the next wave of brit-pop shines through, with a Blur influence leading way. The vocal style also gradually changes, becoming a lot less morose, and developing a completely different British accent.

It’s definitely an interesting and revealing look back to the simpler roots of the band to see just how much they have grown and matured over the years. However, the recording quality definitely leaves something to be desired, particularly on the first few tracks, and the songs themselves are.. well, nothing special, to be honest. Fans of brit pop may find some of this music appealing, and the Dears completist will likely feel a need to own it, but as a general rule I can’t really recommend the album.

At the very least, The Dears tried their hardest to prevent fans from feeling ripped off by this record. The back of the cd contains no track listing, instead it displays only a website URL. If the thoughtful consumer were to venture to this website, he or she would find the entire album available for download in MP3 format. If that wasn’t enough, the liner notes include a letter from Murray explaining the entire situation quite clearly. Of course, by the time you reach the liner notes, it’s probably too late, as you’ve already purchased the cd. (Like I did.) — Sean